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2 Bumps

Do I have to get along with my MIL?

Whats the point when everything you do is criticized and wrong? Nothing seems to make that woman happy.

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proudmommy42008

Asked by proudmommy42008 at 5:30 PM on Feb. 27, 2011 in Relationships

Level 7 (202 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • My mom told me to tell people if they criticize you or "correct" you...say "oh that's how YOU would do it" and just do what you are going to do anyway. Eventually they'll get it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:38 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • Thanks.
    proudmommy42008

    Comment by proudmommy42008 (original poster) at 5:40 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • I say stuff like so your going to come over and do it better? My mom stopped criticizing me after that
    pinkdragon36

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 5:45 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • Ask you husband to intercede. Actually, why hasn't he yet?
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:59 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • Things would be a lot easier on everyone if you did get along with your MIL, but if she's overly critical and unhappy with everything you're doing, I'd ask my DH to step in and have a talk with her to let her know she is being hurtful and that I just want to get along. See if he will let her know that you will never do everything exactly the way she would, and that different people are just that- different. Different doesn't equal bad, either. My MIL was pretty critical at first, but she's mellowed out over time. We get along just fine now; sometimes it's a little awkward or strained, but what relationship isn't from time to time? Good luck, and I hope you can get things worked out.
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 6:12 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • You answered your own question, nothing makes them happy. The only ones that make them happy are there sons. So sad. Do not take her nasty actions, you can put her in her place and be respectful. It is hard at times.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:15 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • I've said that before anon & it DOES work like a charm. It's not rude & it also says "your way is not the ONLY way".

    I would also say to her, probably in a sarcastic tone "nothing seems to make you happy" if she keeps bitching about stuff.

    Sometimes people don't realize how they are being until someone points it out to them.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 6:17 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • When my mil gives me 'unwanted' advice I just smile thank her for her opinion and then I promptly ignore what she said and do things MY way as I planned.

    If it really bothers you I would ask your husband to talk to her, (she may listen to him). Have him tell her that you are your own person and you have your own way of doing things, and that if you want her 'help' you will ask for it. But until then she needs to back off, but out and keep her mouth and comments to herself.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 6:30 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • You don't have to like her, you don't have to socialize with her, you don't ever even have to call her. You have no obligation to anyone, not even your own family. It's that simple. If you don't care to talk to her then don't.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 6:40 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • NO! I wasted more than 10 years trying to make my MIL approve of me and got nothing but misery for it. For our 10th wedding anniversary I gave myself a present - I no longer had to care what she thought about anything. Next week will be our 16th anniversary and I can't tell you how much better the last 6 years have been. She's still a pain in the butt, but now I don't feel the need to care. I keep my distance and be as polite to her when I am forced to be around her, but only for my husband's sake. If she tries to meddle, I let her know simply that my way works for me and I won't be changing it anytime soon. Don't let her make you miserable for as long as I let mine, it's just not worth it.

    scout_mom

    Answer by scout_mom at 6:50 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

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