Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

1 Bump

How to break the negativity cycle

ok, so i was raised in a crzy insane family. Ver negative, talk about everyone, take everything so darn serious and no enjoyment of life. I love my mom and sister but they come to see me every 5 weeks or so and everything is so negative. For example in my town there are 5 restaurants and when they come down we have been to them all. Every single one of them I can think of something negative that happened when they were there with us (for example--rude waiter(so what?! should not ruin your day) or not taking her out of state check(took 5 hours to get over that one) Maybe not the best examples but its all I can think of right now. I mean its like the negativity transfers to me and I get mad too even though I know it is not a big deal!

Also, I am trying so hard to quit cursing and do better. But when they come down it is f bombs everywhere. I really love them both and do not get along with my dad(alcoholic and crazy) but I just want to live my best life I can and be the best example for my kids. DH thinks I am crazy and says they are not negative but he has not been raised in a negative household like I have. There was never any I love yous and definetly no hugging. How do I get over this and what do I do when they come to visit? (my kids love them)

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:13 PM on Feb. 27, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • Tell them you're sick of all the negativity & that you're turning a new leaf & decided to not let the small things bother you anymore, because life is good & if you're going to get upset, you should waste it on something WORTH getting upset over. Life is too short to let the small stuff get to us.

    So, tell them if they begin some negative behavior, tell them that you'll walk away or that you just don't want to hear it. You don't have to be rude or upset whiletelling them this, just let them know that this is how you want to live your life & if they come visit, they need to respect that. Maybe you can be a good example for them.

    You should buy them that famous book "don't sweat the small stuff".
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 7:19 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • Tough situation actually. I had to cut off my negative friends completely in high school (many years ago), so I know how you feel and family is a bit harder. If I were you, I'd minimize visits and doing things that could bring about negative attention. Remind mom to bring cash, get food to go, make sure everyone is rested, not sick, etc before going out for the day. Basically, try to head off at the pass anything before it happens. If they start to bitch, tell them to let it go. Life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you react to it! Good luck.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 7:20 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • And it doesn't helP that my mom and dad fight alot and they call me to talk about it. They stay together fOr whatever reason but are miserable daily
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 7:21 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • Thanks!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 8:05 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.