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How do I keep my man interested in me and no one else?

Im 6 months pregnant and i dont think i turn my husband on any more. He doesnt look at me the same and he use to not be able to keep his hands off me. Lately ive noticed that he has been looking at porn on the comp. and pleasuring himself but he doesnt seem to want have sex with me as much as he use to. Im afraid its only going to be a matter of time until he finds someone in person that turns him on like the porn seems to and cheats, and before we got together he got around...if you know what i mean. Does anyone have any advice for me on ways that i can, well, turn my husband on so he doesnt want to go anywhere else, and does anyone have any advice for me to feel some what sexy for him. I know its kinda hard to feel sexy when your 6 months pregnant and getting fatter every day, but any little bit helps at this point.

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cobysmom151

Asked by cobysmom151 at 1:56 PM on Nov. 20, 2008 in Relationships

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Answers (9)
  • I feel for you! My husband did the same thing to me. I was always wanting sex while I was pregnant and he would prefer to look at porn and masturbate. You have to talk to him and let him know EXACTLY how it makes YOU FEEL whe he does that! My husband became a porn addict! Even after the baby was born nothing changed. Me TELLING him how I felt was the only thing that worked but it wasn't overnight. We had to have the same conversation several times before he stopped looking at porn entirely.
    amydh

    Answer by amydh at 2:04 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • I would be a little upset but wouldn't be so quick to assume the worst (and I know that's easier said than done especially when you're pregnant). Have you tried talking to him? If not, I would start there. Be honest with him about your feelings and concerns and ask him what he's feeling and what's going on. Men deal with pregnancy in different ways but you won't know until you talk to and ask him. I went through something similar with my DH only to find out that it was a midlife crisis. His sex drive went down as well as being affectionate like kissing me for no reason, not wanting to take showers together. It was frustrating, but it eventually worked itself out. It's the same as when your children get a cold, you just have to let it run it's course. GL

    LovingParent08

    Answer by LovingParent08 at 2:04 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • You are not the problem. He is. He is giving in to immature desires. It is never the same to look at a digital woman as it is to carry on a real relationship with a real, living woman. Go to www.joelandkathy.com for some direction on what to do. You need to put your foot down now, before he gets more addicted. Again, this is HIM, not you. Normal men are just as attracted to their pg wives as they are otherwise. He just hasn't grown up.
    PamJM

    Answer by PamJM at 2:05 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • Have you talked to him? Asked him why he does'nt seem to be as interested in you? Perhaps he's concerned about hurting the baby, that sex seems off with a baby inside of you. Find out what is making him distant.
    Are you willing to try something new? Why not try to recreate some of the pornography he's watching or find an outfit that makes you feel sexy. The better you feel about yourself the more he will be attracted to you. Nothing is as sexy as self confidence. I know that's hard when your ankles are swollen and your belly is bloated but taking the upper hand can sometimes be very rewarding.
    tat2edmommyof2

    Answer by tat2edmommyof2 at 2:05 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • Also, check out www.themarriagebed.com for more help.
    PamJM

    Answer by PamJM at 2:06 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • Communication is the best key. TALK TO HIM! Maybe he just feels like you're not in the mood because you're getting bigger. Maybe he feels akward having sex with you because you're caring his child. I felt the same way when I was pregnant and I finally talked to my SO and he just told me that he thought I wasn't in the mood.
    Kenzies_momma

    Answer by Kenzies_momma at 2:07 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • My hubby has also had a problem looking at me like the way he used to, but I don't take it personally. Since this is our first child, he isn't used to other "things" being down there. He's been open about his late night "activities" with the computer as well. We had a problem with those particular "activities" before we were married. That was a step-at-a-time kind of healing. Although he never took it to the next level (cheating), the hurt was still there but through healthy communication we got past it. Agreeing with some of the prior post, letting him know how you feel (not nagging, but civilized, adult conversation), and letting him know everytime you feel hurt will be a healthy way of communicating. But remember, the door swings both ways, and if he has issues he wants to talk about, you must give him the same courtesy.
    redmoonintexas

    Answer by redmoonintexas at 2:22 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • con't:
    And just from our experience, the lack of sex has actually strengthened our marriage because rather than it being a pink elephant in the room, we do other non-sexual things to create that sense of intimacy.
    redmoonintexas

    Answer by redmoonintexas at 2:22 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • Well, me and hubby had a problem a few weeks ago. Your hubby may masturbate because that doesn't get him kick in the stomach. My hubby said we couldn't do missionary anymore unless the baby was being still which is virtually NEVER. I think it is very freaky to a man when thinks like that happen almost like doing it with a child thats awake in the room.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 3:36 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

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