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2 Bumps

Adoption?

Did anyone else have their SO adopt a child from another relationship. My daughters bio father is a dead beat hasn't seen her in well over a year I want to have my SO adopt her when we get married and was wondering if anyone else went through this and how it all happened.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:36 PM on Feb. 27, 2011 in Adoption

Answers (9)
  • I am in the process but its difficult. My lawyer charges $2,500 to do the paper work and then she said if my dd's bio father fights it that we would have to take it to a court hearing and if he keeps apealing it, it could cost up to $8-10,000. She said i have to prove him a unfit father or that he abandoned her or get him to volunteer to terminate his parental rights. If u could get the bio dad to agree and sign the papers then it really isnt that difficult.
    L0vingMy3Girls

    Answer by L0vingMy3Girls at 9:42 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • My mom tried this and it was better left alone. She didn't need him back in her life or mine. He would have said no anyway. Just curious....why is it so important your child be adopted by your new spouse? Its just paper!
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 9:50 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • Our atty charged 2K for each adoption, that is only lawyer fees. You have fed background (for adopting parent), homestudy ($200), months of waiting, terminating father's/mother's rights (could take months), and then after all of that is done it is up to a judge.
    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 9:51 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • Just curious....why is it so important your child be adopted by your new spouse? Its just paper!


    It is not "just paper" it is legal rights that a step-parent doesn't have. It is your child going to a stranger that doesn't care about him/her if you should die. It is rights to inheritence from a (step) parent that has raised you. It is more than "just paper."

    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 9:54 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • If he's not there yes it is just paper. It seems like some people just want their new man to be the daddy. The poster said he hasn't been around for a year. Spare me please, my hubby didn't need to adopt my child and my step dad didn't need to adopt me either.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 10:00 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • What rights does the step parent need? If the mom is there? My step dad raised me since I was two and he didn't have any issues. Even when my dad tried to step in...
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 10:02 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • It's not just paper what if I die then her bio dad gets her and the money, and she goes with someone she doesn't know and hasn't cared about her her whole life. My SO love her to death and it would crush him and my family not to see her. She sucha a happy girl and has a good life it brings me to tears to think it could be taken away from her and she would go with a dead beat family who none of them can even manage to get through high school. I don't want that God forsaken life for her, she deserves better!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:20 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • What if your marriage doesn't work out? Then what? If you S/O adopts her and your marriage falls apart, then this poor little girl is going to have him as her father... Will this be a cycle every time your relationships fall through? I would highly recommend you wait until your married a couple of years, see how stable your marriage is and them decide if you want S/O adopting your daughter... by then you might have enough evidence that her bio Dad has abandoned her and get his rights terminated easier, but at the same time, he may straighten his life up and what to be her Dad... In the end, your daughter will be the one to pay for your decision.... Maybe wait until she is old enough to make that decision herself...
    TiffyTaffy79

    Answer by TiffyTaffy79 at 12:05 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • My step dad raised me since I was two and he didn't have any issues. Even when my dad tried to step in...


    He would have issues if your mother would have died. Your father would have gotten you. It is about thinking about your child's future. I was with my husband for 18 months when my sons adoption went through he was 3. Maybe step parent adoption isn't for you, for some people it is. Don't bash her because she is trying to figure out what is right for her child.

    matthewscandi

    Answer by matthewscandi at 9:33 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

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