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IF your son says he hate you for divorcing his dad what would you do ?

My son hates when i date .I went on a date on my way out the door he said I hate you mom i hate your stinken guts how could you date some one else but not my dad i hate you " And ran to his room what should i do ?

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Cafe_mompc

Asked by Cafe_mompc at 9:49 PM on Feb. 27, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 3 (17 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • Time heals all wounds. I hope you explained to him that you will always love his dad because he gave you (the son), but that adults arent always able to live together..... all that? I would also sit him down and explain that you have every right to be happy and you want him to be happy FOR you -- give him time mom -- he will come around. I was mad at my mom when my parents divorced, but I DID eventually get over it! Good luck! And MAN, teens are sooooo tempermental anyway!
    BaileysMom476

    Answer by BaileysMom476 at 9:53 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • I would not date so openly with my son. It is your right to date...and so you should. But I would personally meet my date at a public location and respect my child's feelings. Most likely this is not the guy you will marry after your divorce. There will be lots of dates and lots of toads to go through before you find that prince. In the mean time meat all the potential prince-to-be's at a neutral location. Then you ride in his car or yours. But no need to introduce a man to your child each time you have a date, especially if they are of no real importance. When you do date someone and it is serious you can prepare your child for meeting him. And of course no sleep overs. That is very horrible. Do the deed when your son is away and not with you. Try counseling with your son so you and he can both work out divorce issues and finding a new normal now that his dad is not in your picture. After all, dad is still in
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 10:20 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • his picture. Just not your's. Which is okay. In time he will be fine. Just not now. Give him time, space, and respect. Have very set rules you stick to. Any man worth your time is going to know your child's needs are first priority and he is not going to be the first "man" of your life. Any man worth dating is going to understand your insistance at the boundaries you set up for your child's protection and your life. If he is respectful you at least know he's worth keeping around for a second and third look.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 10:23 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • date when he is with his father. try to realize that you and his dad chose to destroy his life as he knew it. divorce is hard, but you need to realize your child had no choices here. i am pretty sure that he doesn't really hate you. i think he is really hurting.
    happy2bmom25

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 10:28 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • I understand where your son is coming from. he is hurting so much, and seeing you with another man having a good time really deepens his wound. This is a tough situation you are in. I would avoid letting him know you are dating and let things cool off for a long time. Right now your sons best interests are/should be your own.
    MKSers

    Answer by MKSers at 10:54 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • I wouldn't date when he was with me, especially if I knew it made him feel that way. I was a single mom for 3 years and I know it's hard but I scheduled my dates when my kids were with their dad, or once or twice I left them with a sitter and met my boyfriend out somewhere.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 9:21 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • I wouldn't tell him I was going on a date. This is tough.
    SweetLuci

    Answer by SweetLuci at 12:29 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • Cancel your date and hang out with your kid. He needs you. This is not the time to be dating. Wait until he is older. If my husband and I ended our marriage, I would not date until my kids were 18.
    kemclaughlin

    Answer by kemclaughlin at 4:06 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • There isn't really much you can do.. Maybe the three of you go to family counseling and discuss why the marriage went wrong and why you can't fix it. This really hits close to home as my daughter will grow up knowing me and her father are not together and will not be together again.
    Madalynnsmom238

    Answer by Madalynnsmom238 at 4:11 PM on Apr. 20, 2011

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