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Men say they can't read our minds, so what makes them think we can read theirs?? This is kinda long please forgive me..

sad1st, I do not want anyone to be rude cause of the lengh of this question like what happened last time. If u don't have a helpful advice or even a little criticizing  cause I know I am at fault too, so if u don't have anything "nice" to say, don't bother.

            I have known for awhile my DH had something bothering him for awhile. Really got the point across when I didn't get even get so much as a card for V-day. I have told him endlessly, over and over again, how would I know if I am doing something wrong if he doesn't tell me? It seems when I need him to tell me what is wrong is to pick a fight/argument, one which I excel in. For example, I tell him if he doesn't let some of this frustration or whatever he will have a stroke. He replies "Good maybe I will won't wake up" That pissed me off. So I tell him "well u may want to jump in front of a train instead, less of a chance of surviving" Yes I know I know, the absolute wrong thing to say, but I got fed up on the feeling of wondering if I did something, walking on egg shells, feeling sorry for himself, but yet he won't say anything. I absolutely WILL NOT do this shit again like I had to when I was living at home with my step dad and wondering what will pull the "pin" out of the grenade this time. The problem he says he has is the over sleeping I do. For a long time I have had trouble going to sleep and when I would fall asleep, it is hard for me to wake up. Theres time I wouldn't go to sleep until 7am, even if I went to bed at 4am. All I do is toss and turn so he can't sleep, so i get back up. So while I am sleeping, he is with our dd and he can't get anything done that he needs to cause I'm sleeping. Told him over and over again to just wake me up, it not like I have to be somewhere. He replies "I am not your father" Grrrrrr He say he feel bad if I was only get 2 or 3 hrs of sleep. It doesn't bother me!!! What the hell can do? He claims he don't think our marriage is gonna last if this keeps up...??? We have a rough patch and hes wanting to give up?? After 10 yrs?? Really?!?!? if he does desides to give up, I will not have a place to live, so I lose my dd!! I don't have family here. Damn!! I am still mourning the loss of my mom. She died back in October, I do not need anymore shit to happen!!!

 
Michigan-Mom74

Asked by Michigan-Mom74 at 11:16 PM on Feb. 27, 2011 in Relationships

Level 34 (66,351 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • First of all I am so sorry to hear about your mom, that is probably part of the reason you cant sleep...when my brother died I couldn't sleep for months after and when i did it was a deep sleep.
    Really though if your husband doesn't want to talk about whatever is bothering him give him time try to feel him out by asking questions and if that don't work then ask him if he wants out of the marriage. Don't say ugly things because it makes it worse for the both of you. I hope you can work it out
    dusty1962

    Answer by dusty1962 at 9:59 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • You should see a doctor about your insomnia and consider marriage counseling.

    Good luck!
    Simplicity3

    Answer by Simplicity3 at 11:31 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • Have you tried working on the insomnia? Here is a list of helpful ideas to get to sleep. I know that I can't sleep if I am worried about things. So I really try to only worry about things I can change and I also do whatever I can during the day to get rid of what is worrying me. If I know I have to pay a bill and know it is due, I will worry about paying it. So I make sure as soon as I have the money, I pay it.


    Work on a bedtime routine.


     


    As for your husband... men are weird. My husband stays up late at night and then is pissed off when he has to get up early. You need to work on you so you can help him. ♥

    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 11:39 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • I agree, you should see a Dr. about your insomnia. It could be something easily treatable, like a thyroid issue. I can understand where he is coming from. It's really not his responsibility to wake you up. Can you set an alarm on days you know he has stuff that he needs to get done, or are your schedules too unpredictable?
    The great news is, he finally told you. Don't punish him, rather make him GLAD that he told you. Maybe next time he won't wait so long to talk to you if he's not worried about offending you or having it blow up in his face and turning into a huge ordeal. I had to learn this lesson myself, so you are NOT alone. Tell him you appreciate him telling you what the problem is, then give him some extra lovin'. A little positive reinforcement that a man can appreciate goes a long way. Oh, and have fun! ;-)
    JawgaMom1

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 11:52 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • @txdaniella ........Well I guess it isn't so much as a question as to some advice.
    Michigan-Mom74

    Comment by Michigan-Mom74 (original poster) at 12:37 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • Sorry... I forget the list of suggestions.


    http://www.well.com/~mick/insomnia/

    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 12:42 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • Did your insomnia start when your mother died? It could be depression. I would see a doctor and maybe see what can be done to help figure out why the insomnia. We all go through this stage in our lives. I am now.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:13 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • The insomnia I have had for the past 2 yrs. Some of is the by-product of bipolar disorder the racing thoughts, inability to stop them. I ahve no real med coverage for decent meds. The state says we are elidgable for medicaid, but the 'spend-down' is $650 dollars a month, and we don't have that. DH only make $800 sometimes less.I know where most of the frustrating things my dh has is his 'equipment' is malfunctioning due to the meds he has to take for his diabetes. Then his doc has him taking blood pressure meds to protect his kidneys and keep his blood pressure down, especially now, although he has never had a isssue before. We haven't had sex since...i think November, its been awhile. I have told him while I like sex, but its not an issue of him not wanting me, its medical problem. Although I am consided a frequent customer to our adult toy store, and thinking of buying stock in Energizer batteries...keeps going and going....
    Michigan-Mom74

    Comment by Michigan-Mom74 (original poster) at 1:15 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • @messageofhope...Yes some of the insomnia is due to my mom dying. I am having alot of problems with accepting her death and coming to terms with it. Especially since her death could have been avoided if it wasn't for the politics of her health coverage and the incompetence of her doctor and him not listening to us when we knew something was wrong and it wasn't a freaking "psychotic break!!" She died from liver failure, and they still do not know what caused it. Go figure. Her ammonia levels in her body sky rocketed real high, thus the doc thinking she had a psychotic break so he didn't do a blood test like I wanted him too. Oh I am sorry for TMI, as u can see I still have issues, and I am trying to work out and accept what was done is done.
    Michigan-Mom74

    Comment by Michigan-Mom74 (original poster) at 1:27 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • Hun, what exactly is the question?
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 11:24 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

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