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2 Bumps

Should I still do it? (Kinda long, please help!!)

Since I got pregnant with my first child in 2001 we did the baby names thing and we had a girl so we never used to boy name, obviously. For a boy I picked Tristen and DH picked Tyler. So, hubby said since I carry the baby we can put the name I picked first. I love the name Tristen Tyler! I have always wanted to use it but I have only had girls.

I am pregnant again, and we are going to wait until the baby is born to find out what it is and I would love to use the name.

I was discussing this with my SIL. She seemed concerned. Her cousin (DHs cousin as well) had a baby in 2008 that died at birth and she named him Tyler. SIL said if it were her she would be mad and hurt if we named our boy Tristen Tyler. We had no idea that she (cousin) had picked that name for her son.

I sent cousin an e-mail on facebook telling her about the conversation me and SIL had. She responded with... "What she said is true. And I have been thinking about it since we spoke yesterday. But honestly I would never want u guys to give up the name u want for ur baby. Tyler is a good name. So yes it will hurt a little, but I will b fine. I think Tristen Tyler is a good name."

I never want to hurt ANYONE because of what I name my baby. I lost a baby when she was 3 months and if someone in the family named their baby what they wanted even if it happened to be the name I had for my little angel I would not be upset. BUT, his sid of the family is very different...

She said she would be hurt and the SIL said she would be hurtnad upset if it were her and then of couse we have the MIL and the cousins mom on his side. (His aunt).

So, the question is (finally), should we still use the name we have picked out for the last 10 years, or do we find a new middle name?

Answer Question
 
summerbear

Asked by summerbear at 11:18 PM on Feb. 27, 2011 in Baby Names

Level 17 (3,691 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • i would use it. you have had your heart set on it for 10 years!!! if they make a big deal about it eather say you have had it picked out for that long or say you did t in memory of the baby that passed.
    dreamangel06

    Answer by dreamangel06 at 11:48 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • I would use it. Besides, how often do you use middle names anyways? Just let her know, in advance that if you guys do have a boy, you will be using Tyler for his middle name, that way, it won't be in passing that she hears it.
    BabyBugsmama

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 11:51 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • I would still use it for several reasons... first is that it's not even going to be his first name, it's a middle name so I don't think it should be a big deal... it's not like you are "stealing" the baby's name. Also Tyler is a common name... it would be different I think if the name was less common like Tyrell which you don't hear very often. Finally, it seems that if you didn't know the name of their baby then your relationship isn't very close, so it shouldn't matter.
    AmiJanell

    Answer by AmiJanell at 12:36 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • I think since it is your baby it is your decision. But, if you really want to spare their feeling look for another form of the name, like maybe Taylor.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 1:06 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • dang, thats hard situation. if you used it they would get over it fast (or atleast they should, your DH would know best) and if you didnt use it, how fast would YOU get over it?
    toss a quarter: heads means use it, tails means dont, best outta 3, that should tell you how you FEEL
    (it doesnt mean do what the quarter says lol)
    Liz4Life

    Answer by Liz4Life at 3:04 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • OMG thats sooooooooooooooooooo stupid now that i think about it. TYLER is like the most common name ever. show them this message please (im serious) :
    dear sister and mother in law. would you please realize that your life is different than this poor womens life who cant name her precious child because of your misfortunes? even as a kid I PROMISED myself i would name my kid that because it truly is a great name. would you want someone to interfere with dreams YOU had?? no!!!
    Liz4Life

    Answer by Liz4Life at 3:09 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • Hmm... that's a tough situation. After thinking about it a lot, I would still use it. I can promise you that when that baby is born, no one is going to care what his name is. They're going to love him no matter what. Plus you've had your heart set on that name before his cousin ever had a baby. So go with it, if they get mad they will get over it. I know I wouldn't get mad if someone used my child's name, especially when they've wanted it for so long.
    poptart0325

    Answer by poptart0325 at 9:32 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • I would still use the name. Tyler is the middle name, not the first name. Neither of them will be having to say the name Tyler on a regular basis. They'll really get over it. And honestly, I'd never give any of my family a "say." I think if you and DH like the name, then use it. I'd let them know ahead of time that you are not changing the name. That should give them enough time before the baby is born to adjust to his name.
    fancyjane

    Answer by fancyjane at 11:31 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • honestly, it's a cute name. if nothing else it can be to honor her baby.

    my aunt actually had a stillborn that she had named tessa, when her son grew older and got a puppy she actually suggested he name her that. it's kind of strange to me, but if she was fine with that i'm sure your cousin will be fine with you naming your baby that. and at least it's the middle name so she wouldn't be hearing it all the time
    ilovemymonsterr

    Answer by ilovemymonsterr at 6:15 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • I would personally use it. It is a name you've had picked out for a very long time and it isn't like you would be naming your child that to be disrespectful or heartless. I also agree with the previous poster who mentioned that the part they are concerned about, "Tyler", is the middle name and it isn't the name they would be calling your baby every day.
    ShaunnaMichelle

    Answer by ShaunnaMichelle at 7:45 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

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