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What would you do? adult content

I have 2 sons who are 15 and 17. Me and my husband both work during the day and we have found out recently that both our boys have their girlfriends over while we are at work. I found this out because there were condom wrappers in the 15 year old's trash and I found a pair of panties in my 17 year old's room (I was just bringing laundry to them, not snooping). We have not confronted them yet and here is why. My husband feels that if we contront them and tell them not to have them over when we are not home, that won't make any difference, they will still do it. We can't stop them because we both work, and can't be home when they get home. Is there any point in making a rule that we know they won't follow and we have no way to enforce? My biggest concern is that I didn't find condom wrappers in my older son's trash (ok, at that point I was snooping)

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:22 PM on Feb. 27, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (28)
  • Oh, and my 17 year old has told his father that he and his girlfriend were having sex, he just didn't say where and I also found a note from her saying she loves how he makes love to her in his bed

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:24 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • i would confront. they probably wont listen to your rules but if you dont set boundries they will push maybe further then what they are doing now. i would praise them for being safe during sex, but still let them know your rules.

    Answer by rhanford at 11:26 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • Yes there is a point in making rules. There are times that no one is watching ME, like in my home, but I choose whether or not to follow rules. Honestly, I'd be home or talk to these girls' mothers or something drastic, but even if you stop it competely... If there is no REASON for them to stop (they don't feel they'll get pregnant with condoms for example) why would they stop?

    Here I would lean on my religious views, that sex is something to be saved for marriage.

    Answer by txdaniella at 11:28 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • txdaniella, we can't be home, me and my husband are both in the medical field so it's not like we can take a late lunch or something and come home for a few min to catch them

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:32 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • I think you need to sit them both down and tell them that you know, but not how you found out. Tell them you will hire a babysitter, if you find out that they have done this again! Nothing is going to stop them from having sex at this point, wether it is at your house or in the park. If you find another condom in the house, enroll them in after sch. ativities, something that is going to keeo them in school and pick them up after work. If you can't do that, then ground them until they are thirty. Sorry huny, don't know what else to suggest

    Answer by joanne580 at 11:36 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • Once they start they won't stop. Teens will find a place. Just encourage the condoms.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:39 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • The other thing that I was thinking is, like you said joanne580, I can't stop them from having sex at this point but I would almost rather them do it in my house then in the park or another public place where they could get arrested

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:41 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • And you're surprised by this? I'm sorry but a 15 and 17 yr old left to their own devices are going to have sex in your home if given the chance and not having any supervision . Now it's time to talk to them about STD's and the fact that they have disrespected you. IMO one of you should be there for them when they are home from school. They are still children and obviously don't know right from wrong. I would put them in a program for kids after school if you can't be there.
    Sorry I just can't have any sympathy for you. It's time to get plugged into your kids.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:42 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • MrsLeftlane, I am VERY plugged in, we are home by 4 pm each day on the days we work and we are off 3 days.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 11:51 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • Well then don't say anything to them, and then when one of the girls gets pregnant, then you can raise another child, and be plugged in Grandparents...

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 12:08 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

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