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16 Bumps

Baby shower for a 12 year old??????

My dd came home from school today saying that a girl in her 7th grade band class is pregnant (this I already knew) but that she got an invite to her baby shower, next Sat. I know what is done is done, this baby is coming and that's all there is to it but I almost feel that this makes teen (well not even teen yet) pregnancy look fun. I know this baby will need things but is it inapropriate to invite 12 year olds to a baby shower? On the other hand, this could be a good learning experience for my dd, going shopping for it could show her how much baby stuff costs and reminding her that you usually only get the first 3 months worth of clothes from the baby shower. Also about teaching her to not judge people and show compasion to others because this girl is going to have a long hard road ahead of her and I'm sure it would help her to know that she still has friends. What do you think, should I let her go and use this as a teaching tool or tell her this is inapropriate and she is not going?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:49 PM on Feb. 27, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

This question is closed.
Answers (42)
  • i wish my grandmother could hear this. she thought my pregnancy at 19 was terrible-even though my hubs (then bf) were living on our own and doing our own thing. she was just pissed that i wasn't married.

    idk what i would do. i mean, i would probably let her go-but i'd go myself. its tough bc you don't want to glamorize this pregnancy at all. at the same time, that poor girl is going to have it tough enough as it is...she's going to need support. so you have to decide-do you want your daughter to be part of that support system?

    Answer by erinwhitt at 8:00 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • I think at that age, no friends should be invited. It should be family and only after the baby is born. IMO. It's the baby's life that should e celebrated, not the mothers teen pregnancy

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 11:55 PM on Feb. 27, 2011

  • I would send a gift and a card and use the shopping trip as a lesson to show how much everything costs but I don't think I could let my daughter go to a "party for pregnancy," which is what a baby shower essentially is.

    Answer by Sagen at 12:11 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • I dont think you should let her go. Sometimes baby showers are fun, and u know she might want to have one too. Even when looking at buying gifts for a baby shower, thats fun too. I dont think she will care about the prices of it, or might assume she can get it all at a baby shower.... Idk, I dont think its a good idea.

    And the girls parents should be embarrassed. Thats so inappropriate to have a baby shower full of 12 year olds.

    Answer by BrittanyD07 at 12:12 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • "I think at that age, no friends should be invited. It should be family and only after the baby is born. IMO. It's the baby's life that should e celebrated, not the mothers teen pregnancy "

    that's exactly what i was thinking. i also think i would be checking out my dd's friends, where they go, and what they do a bit closer.I would take this as an eye opener and opportunity for some serious discussions with my own dd.

    Answer by boobarandbell at 12:14 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • That's sad, a baby having a baby. Anyway, If it had been my daughter I would have just invited family. JMO.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:44 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • 12!!!! I didn't even get my period until I was 16, wow!!!
    Isn't that some sort of child abuse????

    Yes let her go and use this as a lesson and a learning tool! Just saying it's not right is obvious not enough these days. Also let her show her support for her friend.

    Answer by mslksdh at 12:05 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • You know, when I gave my friend a shower for her baby it was NOT a celebration of her pregnancy. It was a show of support for her because she lost almost all of her friends, people were judgemental, talked about her, etc. Not a one of the rest of her girlfriends wanted to go thru what she was going thru. We learned from her mistakes in many ways. Also, she ended up pregnant at such a young age because of a horrible homelife and she knows now (we're still friends all these years later - we've known each other since we were 5/6) that she made wrong choices but her family life was OUT of control. Really, she needed support more then that at most any other time in her life....

    So the reason for the shower may be totally different than it would be for an adult - that may bear keeping in mind.

    Answer by AAAMama at 12:47 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • Babies are having babies these days, still doesn't make it OK. I would never let my child go to a babies baby shower. There is nothing cute about the idea and it shouldn't be a celebrated joyous occasion. Just my 2 cents.

    Answer by prettyinink2011 at 4:29 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • I would get something for her baby, but dont think I would have my daughter go to the shower, it really does kinda "glamorize" the whole teenage pregnancy(this is coming from me, a woman who's first baby was at 16)

    Answer by 2ndtimearound4 at 5:20 PM on Feb. 28, 2011