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3 Bumps

F***in MEN! adult content

Well have been working on trust issues with the hubby this week went pretty good so tonight were in bed talking about a porno my brother gave us to watch so I told him lets watch it tomorrow night when im not tired and your not intoxicated and it can be fun and romantic no kids etc. Well he said here you go putting limitation on when we can have sex your just like all the other women so i said you mean your ex wifie he said yeah she would only have sex at night.
I didnn't mean it that way but in his drunken stage he blew it out of wack so i told him we need to talk about this and he got really mad then so of course i got ghetto and said don't you ever compare me to your snaggle tooth trailer trash usless ex...i was pissed i said im not her and never will be here and i am nothing like her i have class.
then he told me to fuck myself so i told him the same then i said thats it NO man will be in my life and talk shit like that to me. I told him well i didnt compare you to other ass holes who cheated on their wives did i and he said he didnt cheat and i said yeah because i found the text before you could.
I told him i never once compared you to my ex boyfriends and you are the first and the last im done. I don't know what his problem is ..HISTORY before he met me HONESTLY he had nothing didn't even wear cologne wore BCG and was poor paycheck to paycheck his life with the ex they did nothing and his kids dysfunical one a meth head and one in prison for sex with his under age cousin.
He met me I moved him up and dressed him up we have been on cruises, vegas twice a year and have money to just have fun with and he's talking shit to me comparing me to the ex. He's the one making the problems by trying to cheat and he said yeah I wont let this die and I said yeah i have BIG trust issues wouldnt you if I tried to cheat, he said nothing of course. WOW I don't think I can handle this i am not use to this kind of drama and for him to compare me to his bi polar ex and call me names oh HELL NO. Ladies i did try and now I think I might have to kick him out and move on what do you think.....He use to be so sweet and didnt drink much but the last month since I caught him texting a women he's been mean when we argue and drinking more.
I can do bad by myself but confused.....HELP need input...marriage is sacred and should be treated as such but he violated our vows i can't forget and i hate to keep bringing it up when we argue but when he was compareing me to his ex.....that was it so he wont be getting any sex from me and I told him to go to his fucken hoe...i was upset and still am. He is now sleeping in his man cave and Im in the bedroom...he never even lived in a house until he met me and didn't eat half as good as I feed and take care of him....im so sa

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dusty1962

Asked by dusty1962 at 1:30 AM on Feb. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,831 Credits)
Answers (15)
  • I'm sorry :(
    Raccoon

    Answer by Raccoon at 1:37 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • Alcohol is your worst enemy, not him. I've seen marriages and relationships go to hell quick due to drinking. Question? Is he like this when he's sober? Mean things are said when someone is inebriated. Maybe that's the problem. Sorry your going through this :(
    Kathy675

    Answer by Kathy675 at 1:41 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • Yes, SOME fuckin' men. He def shouldn't have said those things, but SOME men don't care. Sorry. =[
    -AJ

    Answer by -AJ at 1:47 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • You should tell him not to compare you to his ex. Because what y'all have is totally different. You should keep throwing up y'all past because that can push y'all away from each other.
    Quetta08

    Answer by Quetta08 at 1:51 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • Romance is watching a porno given by a relative? Really? This situation is messy in more ways than one. You need a good dose of self esteem to realize your standards are way too low!
    legalmommy101

    Answer by legalmommy101 at 1:54 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • ah man, first of all im sorry. second, you're not alone. I do wana say one thing tho is that nothing should be said in an emotional state. just as this post is very charged with emotion (which is fine) im just afraid you will be talking to your hubby and do the same thing (which is not so fine) because you may make irrational decisions like throw his belongings out the window or tell him to stay out of your life or whatever. from experience, both drunken and sober, i just know that speaking to your loved one while upset is NOT GOOD! its super hard cuz it hurts and you want to be heard, but its better to channel those emotions onto a piece of paper. write a letter or write your biggest triggers, upsets, or fears. when you and DH are getting along, tell him how you feel. try not to say anything negative (it doesnt have2 be positve either, just neutral), and just TRUST HIM even tho it might seem shady. try not2jump2conclusions.
    Liz4Life

    Answer by Liz4Life at 1:57 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • To Kathy675 and to answer your question NO he isn't like this when he is sober he is the sweetest man I have ever met, and will do anything and everything for me...so this is why i'm so confused. He loves my 16 year old son as well don't know where we went wrong.
    dusty1962

    Comment by dusty1962 (original poster) at 1:59 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • also, be mindful of YOUR needs. it sounds like you do everything to please HIM because you love him so much. then you don't get the same in return. just forget about him for awhile and go pamper yourself and feel GOOD. it sucks to have trust issues, so the only thing i can suggest is trust yourself and feel secure enough without him that if he does do anything, he wasn't worth keeping which gives you the right of way to move on, respectfully. when you said "I told him IIII never once compared YOU to my ex boyfriends," aren't you comparing your hubby to yourself? usually when i notice im doing what Im mad it, it helps relieve the fact im mad at something I'm doing myself. does that make sense. im truly on your side, i really am and I just want you to be at peace and not sad. it makes me sad that your sad and i dont even know u! just look at the BIG picture, and know shes an EX for a reason.
    Liz4Life

    Answer by Liz4Life at 2:07 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • You didn't go wrong. Don't blame yourself. Talk to him when he's sober and explain to him how he changes when he's drinking. Maybe this is something he'll give up if he loves you and doesn't want to lose you. If you drink give it up for both of you. Believe me when I say your marriage will be so much better, the trust will come back and you'll still have fun. I've been married almost 28yrs come April 13th, I've experienced alot and our marriage was important to BOTH of us to make necessary changes. I wish you the best! Don't settle for second best either. You're worth it!!
    Kathy675

    Answer by Kathy675 at 2:10 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • It sounds like your marriage is over. Marriage is not automatically sacred just because a piece of paper's involved. Marriage is what we make it. Sometimes it just doesn't work. He sounds like a loser and you would do better without him.
    popcornlover

    Answer by popcornlover at 2:12 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

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