When my daughter was 11-13 she had a huge crush on a 17 year old boy who bowled on her league. She was pretty much obsessed with him and we of course didn't allow it due to the age difference. She would sneak and see him. When she was 13 her girl friend kissed her. From that time on she has been confused about her sexuality. She has had a couple of "boyfriends" since the 17 year old and the kiss but nothing major. We hired an 18 year old boy at our business and we noticed she would spend a lot more time getting ready, putting on make-up (she normally doesn't) & tried to be around him at our business. He chose one of my daughters friends to ask out and my daughter was crushed but didn't want anyone to know it. Now my daughter says she is gay, she is sure she is gay and that she has NEVER liked a boy. She says she never liked any of them???? My daughter is the type to do whatever her friends do such as wear whatever kind of clothes the "group" she is hanging around with wears. She also had some new friends that played softball so she decided she wanted to play and announced she had always wanted to. I had never heard her mention it but she says her friends had nothing to do with her choice to play. It's just whatever her "current" group seems to be doing that seems to be what she is interested in. Her current group of friends consists of two gay guys, one very open minded girl friend whom I'm not sure of her sexual orientation but assume anything goes with her, a few straight girls and one very gay girl. The very gay girl has told my daughter she likes her. My daughter has announced she is gay and always has been. Help me figure out what to do! I am angry. I don't believe she has always been gay but can't imagine anything my friends could have done to make me even pretend to be gay or announce I was if I wasn't. Does my daughter need to "fit in" to this extreme or is she gay? I can't accept it I'm sorry. If she were 18 and chose to be gay I would learn to accept it but she is 16. I want to fight it tooth and nail but am scared of what I might do to my daughter. I also mentioned scripture to my daughter and her words to me were this girl is worth going to hell for! This is not the daughter I know talking. Please help if anyone has any idea what I should do.
Answer by legalmommy101 at 3:20 AM on Feb. 28, 2011
If she is inviting gay friends over then the same rules need to apply just as if she had invited a group of straight boys over and she was straight. A change in school won't help, especially in a school where she will be made to wear a big letter G for I'm gay or worse, S for sinner. You don't want to give your daughter any reason to want to be gay other than she really is. Teens rebel, and if you push her by changing her schools, trying to talk her out of it, taking away her gay friends, you will be pushing her right into that direction just to spite you. Set up strict rules, she needs hobbies, a job , volunteer, something to keep her busy. She has way too much time on her hands.
Answer by legalmommy101 at 3:29 AM on Feb. 28, 2011
" My daughter has announced she is gay Help me figure out what to do! I am angry."
I don't understand why you're angry. I've read your post a few times and understand that she's gone back and forth with this, but consider the hormones that are raging within her at 16.. It's a very confusing time.
" I can't accept it I'm sorry. If she were 18 and chose to be gay I would learn to accept it but she is 16."
Why can't you accept it? What about unconditional love for your children?? People don't "CHOOSE" to be gay. IMHO, what she needs now is for you to sit down with her and explain that you love her whether she's straight, bi or gay and you will always be there and support her It doesn't matter how high you
Answer by 5150mama at 5:16 AM on Feb. 28, 2011
Sorry, got cut off .......... What I was trying to say is that it doesn't matter how high you build that wall, you'll never be able to keep her from seeing any friends she wants. You can forbid her to bring them home, but she'll only rebel and still hang out with them and will be angry with you at the same time. Good luck with this!!!
Answer by 5150mama at 5:19 AM on Feb. 28, 2011
Answer by Bellarose0212 at 6:23 AM on Feb. 28, 2011