I don't know how to stop it. I was verbally abused by my mom from age 9 to 22... I was also verbally abused (as well as physically) from my son's father from 15-16 (almost 17 years old)... then my ex boyfriend was both as well from 19-21.
I've somewhat cut those three out of my life... my ex BF is out of my life... My son's dad didn't really care about DS (he's currently "interested" but is in rehab so hopefully being sober will help him)-- I dont have to worry about him for another few months though.... and my mom: i cut her out in Oct 2010.
Through all of that-- I'm now verbally abusing myself and I really don't know how to stop it, or change myself. I've tried motivational talk/thoughts, but it all goes back to degrading myself! "I have an amazing 5 year old son who's changed my entire life" can easily turn into "this 5 year old boy doesn't deserve you- you are a POS mom who cant do anything right!"
I'm finally ready to change it, but other than CM, i have no where else to go. I still live with my dad-- who didn't verbally abuse me (did physically, but that stopped at 15 years old) but he allowed my mom to.
Answer by elizabr at 7:33 AM on Feb. 28, 2011
It is called negative self talk or self defeating thinking. But honestly I am not sure how to stop it or fix it. It is pretty common though specially in women who have been abused in the past. My therapist always told me to first get in the habit of catching when i am having those thoughts, to become aware of them. then she told me write them down and think about why am i thinking that , and why is it WRONG. to come up with all the positive reasons the negative thought is wrong. I dont know if this will help anyone else. but i know how miserable this type of thinking makes someone and i wish i could help you better.
Answer by Satiblue at 7:33 AM on Feb. 28, 2011
Answer by admckenzie at 12:01 PM on Feb. 28, 2011
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