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3 Bumps

Should I stay with my dh?????

I have had three kids since we married 13 years ago. So like alot of moms I have put on about 40 lbs. He's telling me I am not the woman he married and doesn't really love me anymore. I am on a diet working on the weight. Should I just let him go? Do I really need to try and work it out If I do lose the weght? If he really loves me would my weight really matter?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:55 AM on Feb. 28, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (26)
  • nope it wouldn't matter. if it was more of a worry about your health and not the whole looks aspect then he would be sincerely showing his love with worry - but to be just plain mean about it? oh - and is he still his same weight??

    Answer by JusaLady at 10:57 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • Agreed! He wouldn't stay with you even if you did lose the weight. It's unfortunate he is putting his problems off on you and making you feel bad but you need to realize that HE is the one with the problem, NOT YOU! If you want to lose weight, do it for yourself, not him. I'm sorry this is happening but you are the only one that can make the decision. Maybe go talk to someone and see if they can help you sort your feelings out.

    Good Luck Hun!

    Answer by alyssamal at 11:00 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • What he is doing is mean and likely is something more. He is probably unhappy with his life and that doesnt have to mean it has anything to do with you or how you look. Personally i would tell him to go pound sand. He can either accept you for you, or go find a super model who would have him. I would lose weight only because it is something I wanted to do. I wouldnt do it for anyone else.

    Answer by gemgem at 11:02 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • I would work on getting myself healthy. If he stays he does and if he doesn't then find a man who loves you for you.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:58 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • If my husband ever disrespected me and hurt me that way, I'd show him the door. I'll never look the way I used to 10 years ago. That's life, people change, we grow old. I would want someone that would stand beside me while I age and be proud of me no matter what. You deserve the same.

    Answer by gutterflower585 at 11:05 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • Is he saying the weight is the issue?

    Answer by sue118 at 10:58 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • Weight should not matter at all. Have you tried martial counseling?
    Do you do date nights at all? Maybe you two just need some time to reconnect.

    Answer by madamlinwe at 10:59 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • Yes, he keeps saying I am not the same woman he married because I have gained weight. He is the same weight, but hasn't had three kids though.

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:59 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • He seems to care enough to tell you to loose the weight, but if he really loved you, instead of belittling you he would help you or encourage you to get fit.

    Answer by older at 11:02 AM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • Weight wouldn't matter if he really loved you. And only YOU can answer the question of leaving or staying. Is it worth it to you to try and save your relationship of 13 years? I wouldn't be comfortable throwing 13 years out the window, but that's just me. Would he consider counseling with you? Try and sit down with him and let him know that you're not comfortable throwing away 13 years for nothing(if you want to stay, that is) and see where it goes from there. Good Luck!

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 11:02 AM on Feb. 28, 2011