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Answers / Parenting / General Parenting
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Copying with bullying in school.

So, your child has been a victim of a bullying behavior.

Apart from speaking to school & authorities, how do you cope with it?
What do you say to your child TO PREVENT THIS and
STRENGTHEN THEIR CHARACTER?

 
lillyblue111

Asked by lillyblue111 at 12:22 PM on Feb. 28, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 17 (3,690 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • we've dealt with bullying, btw, the schools don't do crap. after meetings with teacher and principal, it was a nightmare. finally, my dh convinced me to that we need to teach our son to stand up and fight back if necessary. we always taught our son to "turn the other cheek and ignore bullies"...ha, that doesn't work on some kids. so we've taught our son, when "NO" fails, and he is physically assulted (and let's not kid ourselves, these kids push and hit with intent-that assult), then to do the following procedure...

    1. yell in a FIRM voice "do not touch me ever again!" and stand up tall and straight, feet planted apart for balance.
    2. If the kid does it again, push the kids back (on the shoulders to push him down or back with a little force), and yell FIRMLY "i said do not touch me!" I told my son to get angry and look kind of "crazy" and that should be enough to shock the little bully.

    (btw, it worked)

    cont.
    boobarandbell

    Answer by boobarandbell at 1:22 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • Oh and for the record, if a bully starts with one of my kids and my kid hits the bully back, I dont punish my kids. I have told them time and again never throw the first punch, but if they start with you finish it.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 12:36 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • STRENGTHEN THEIR CHARACTER???? I don't get what you mean.... just b/c some knuckle head is bullying a kid doesn't mean that kid has a weak character. What do you mean here??
    Crafty26

    Answer by Crafty26 at 12:28 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • Unless there is physical harm, let your child know that words have no effect on who he/she is. People talk, not always kind and not always true. Others will find out the truth sooner or later. The bully will be known for what he/she really is. People will stop listening to the bully. Tell him/her to keep his/her head up, do what is right, avoid fighting if possible, but stand their ground and fight if they have to. Don't run or the bully will win and continue the wrong actions because he can.
    Kimimale

    Answer by Kimimale at 12:29 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • Bullying happens. I tell my kids most of the time a bully with bully for many reasons. Maybe they are jealous. Maybe they have problems at home. Maybe they dont like themselves much. Who knows? But life is full of bullies and I tell my kids they have to learn how to handle them now rather then later because momma isnt going to be at work to handle a bully for them. If its physical though then I do go to the school and handle things there.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 12:35 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • having been a victim of bullying through most of my school years PLEASE do NOT mention that old adage about sticks and stones. Bruises and broken bones will heal, but the emotional and psychological damage from the verbal abuse bully's dish out NEVER goes away.

    I would encourage your child to stay within sight of an authority figure at all times and to stay away from the bullies as much as possible. IF the school does nothing to keep your child safe I would go to the superintendent and keep going up the district's chain of command until something is done. Many schools now have anti-bullying policies. If your school doesn't I'd try to find Jay McGraw's (Dr. Phil's son) stuff on anti-bullying and push to have it implemented at your child's school.
    Rosehawk

    Answer by Rosehawk at 12:37 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • kids need to learn proper self defense and HOW to stand up to a bully. my son knows never to physically touch someone first, but if he is pushed or hit, not to let it continue to happen. we reherse, as needed, these techniques, so he is comfortable using them and i know that he is using them correctly. A lot of the 'stranger safety' procedures for self defense work well on bullies too. we made the choice to teach our son kindness, but not everyone does, so he had to learn self protection too.
    boobarandbell

    Answer by boobarandbell at 1:25 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • Boobarandbell, I think you have excellent suggestions.
    kemclaughlin

    Answer by kemclaughlin at 3:27 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

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