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Spin off of another question...does anyone have a child that IS the bully? And how do you handle it?

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:26 PM on Feb. 28, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (6)
  • not yet....i am concerned about it with my son because he has a hard time understanding that other people feel emotions like he does, he doesn't recognize physical cues like when someone is sad, happy, mad. its hard for him. and then you mix in being sometimes aggressive when he is angry or upset. but we have therapy going on so i hope that he will learn.


    Answer by Satiblue at 12:33 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • Try to figure out why he does these wrong actions. Is he really insecure? Does he have low self-seteem? Does he need more positive attention? Sometimes kids don't get enough attention so they act out in a bad way to get the attention they think they need.

    Answer by Kimimale at 12:34 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • As far as I know my children are not bullies, but if this ever happens there will be swift action. I guess you have to start with education... teach your child why its wrong, make them understand how it feels and what the consequences can be. That along with some punishment is in order as well. I am hoping that by raising them to have empathy and instilling a good moral base, helping them to know right from wrong we won't have to deal with this... fingers crossed!!


    Answer by Crafty26 at 12:36 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • I feel that the reason she behaves this way is simple. She has always gotten her way and no matter what when things happen family members justify why she did it and it is always someone elses fault that she behaved that way. I know that alot of times it is because the child doesn't recieve enough positive attention etc. but it seems to me that she gets nothing but positive attention and as soon as she isn't the center of attention and is held accountable for her actions she lashes out. So, at home with family it is never her fault and actions are justified and in school she is held accountable and the problems begin. Do you think it is possible for a child to turn into a bully just because they have been spoiled there whole lives?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 12:51 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • My son has been accused of being a bully. I sat down and talked to him about his behavior, and he quickly became very sad that people would say that about him. I had never really noticed the behavior and neither had most others.
    However in watching a little more closely I've noticed things I had picked up on before, and I know some of it is a direct correlation to who his friends are (one inparticular).
    I've continued to talk to him about people's feelings, and the impacts of words - even if we sometimes are joking those words can still hurt. I've also talked to him about standing up for others when his "friend" acts the way he does. Example: friend tripped a girl on the way to PE and laughed about it. My son said it was mean but didn't do anything - I had to explain its just as bad to watch and do nothing as it is to do the tripping. I just keep talking, so far no more complaints, so I think its working.

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 1:08 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • if ur child is the bully i would try to find out why he or she is doing it and i would get some counceling for the child being a bully can damage other kids

    Answer by Sara_Carter at 9:21 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

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