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Pleae help! My 2 children with ADD are tearing apart my relationship!!

In no way will a man every be worth more than my 2 children, but if possible I would love to have both. Both my 2 and 3 yr old have already been diagnosed with ADD. I have no clue how to control them. They do well most of the time but their just non stop. We do out side time, healthy food (mostly organic), crafts, etc.... I am out of ideas and am broken down. I feel backed into a wall and my boy friend says he cant handle it any more. Anyone with advise please help! My boy friend has really done alot to try to help but he says he's throwing in the towel.
Thanks!

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tammychiz

Asked by tammychiz at 12:33 PM on Feb. 28, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 3 (17 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I am just curious how children that young have been diagnosed already? And i have to wonder if maybe you should get some other opinions. it was always my understanding that ADD is something that is typically not even diagnosed till children are in school. can you get support services in your area to help you and your children learn coping techniques?
    Satiblue

    Answer by Satiblue at 12:35 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • You need a 2nd opinion, they are too young to be diagnosed with ADHD. Whatever is is that you chose to do, you need to be consistent. IF they truly have ADHD, then they need to be in behavioral counseling to learn how to control their symptoms.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 12:38 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • My boys were officially diagnosed at 6 yrs old. It is VERY rare that 2 & 3 yr olds will be even considered as candidates for ADD/ADHD. Toddlers are typically all over the board making new discoveries, learning new things. I agree with the pp, you need a new doctor's opinion. Playing devil's advocate-let's just say ur kids ARE ADD already. There is a LOT that YOU have to do to accomodate for their needs. YOU have to learn how to help them adapt & cope with their situation. 90% of the time, this means the children AND the parents being involved in ADD/ADHD therapy. All that having been said, do you now see why it is impossible to actually diagnose 2 & 3 yr olds with ADD/ADHD? Sadly, ADD/ADHD is being used for kids the way PMS is used for women. MANY kids a mis-diagnosed. My boys actually have Acute Genetic ADHD. It stems from my ex's family.
    specialwingz

    Answer by specialwingz at 12:46 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • They were both diagnosed by 2 seperate doctors. Their first was Karen Van Wei and I did not agree so I got a 2nd opinion. My 3 yr old is in an early intervention special ed program because his ADD is keeping him from meeting milestones. They both recieve therapy and I am doing everything possible to help them.
    tammychiz

    Comment by tammychiz (original poster) at 12:46 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • Do you have anyone who could take the kids off your hands once a week or maybe for a weekend? Perhaps that will help your sanity and give you a break. My son sounds a lot like your kids and having him go with family for a day greatly helps my sanity and my relationship.
    worriedmommy600

    Answer by worriedmommy600 at 12:48 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • I also have ADD, and I had it as a very young child and still now have it, but I knew how to channel it.
    tammychiz

    Comment by tammychiz (original poster) at 12:48 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • I agree that u should seek professional help for u and ur children. I understand your bf's point of view but you should get this situation under control so you can have a healthy relationship with both your children and a SO. =)
    RentaMom

    Answer by RentaMom at 12:53 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • I think that this is a hard and lonely situation. I think that you need to seek some professional services that will help you learn how to deal with their problems in the home. Also, i think you should be more focused on them then on dating. Your kids need you. Without two parents, the one parent that they do have needs to be fully engaged in their lives.
    kemclaughlin

    Answer by kemclaughlin at 3:24 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • I have set up family counceling for all 3 of us. As far as focusing on them and not the boy friend I agree, the only down part is we live together. He has really stood up and played the role as a father for these 2 but the amount of energy they display is intense. Its not that their undisciplined, they just can not control their energy. When I sit them down and ask them to sit still I look them in the eyes and they still cant stop moving.
    tammychiz

    Comment by tammychiz (original poster) at 4:34 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

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