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2 Bumps

My best friend was raped by her boss last week How can I help her?

YES WE WENT TO THE POLICE AND THE HOSPITAL.
I am so worried about her. I have never really know any one who was the victim of a sexual crime, this is all so surreal. I am here for her to talk to. I am the one who got what happened out of her and that had her tell.
She had only recently started working as a bartender when this happened, on her 6th shift, the very first night she closed alone. We have talked with other girls and it seems she is NOT the only one. However we can't get anyone else to come forward.
I AM SO MAD! THIS IS NOT FAIR! The police are doing thier job and they say shell go to court. He is the owner of a fairly popular bar in the area. I would like to know what I could LEGALLY do to get the word out about this asshole. He druged her and did horrible things to her. She hasnt slept for days because she cant close her eyes. But hers sittin up there shootin the shit enjoying a drink rakin in the cash. NOT RIGHT!
So how can I get the word out? Without getting myself in trouble?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:42 PM on Feb. 28, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Unfortunately, you may have to wait for the police to do their job. Legally, I don't know if there is anything you can do yet. Until it is proven, this bartendar can get a lawyer and accuse you of slander or defaming his name. It sucks, I know, and I am in no way siding with this guy, believe me, I'm just saying you can't jump into it. Although it feels like nothing is getting done, the police are working on it and you have to give them time to build a case against this guy. In the meantime, be very supportive to your friend. Rape is a terrible thing to go through. Maybe you guys can look up counselors in the area or a free support group for rape victims that she can go to. It may help. I'm sorry this happened and hopefully she quit or is looking for different employment. You're supposed to be able to trust your boss and coworkers. What a jerk.
    fricky29

    Answer by fricky29 at 1:50 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • If there hasn't been a trial yet, tread carefully. Whatever you may do, or think about doing, could be harmful to an upcoming trial for your friend.
    Christine0813

    Answer by Christine0813 at 1:47 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • Dont start a FB page about it! Ug. I know you mean well & want to help, but you could get in trouble. People in the USA are considered innocent till proven guilty. If you start up an FB page about him, you could likely get yourself in trouble for slander (even if it is true, that's not the point, its the law). Also, if it goes to trial a lot of good jurors could be eliminated if they admit to having any prior information about the crime or the person who allegedly committed it (if they see your proposed FB page for instance).
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:09 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • IT IS THE OWNER OF THE BAR THAT RAPED HER
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:42 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • Was she tested for drugs in the hospital? There would be evidence of rape and drugs.
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 1:44 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • DO NOT START RUMORS!!!

    This **WILL*** jeopardize her case, and any conviction. It will simply look as though she is making a story to screw him with. Let the system handle it, and then when he is convicted of it, blast it with a loud speaker if you have to!! But you have to wait until he is convicted!

    You probably know several people who are the victim of rape, molestation, etc. and just don't know it. Its not something we spend a lot of time talking about.

    The best thing you can do for her is help her get some rest, and DO NOT talk about the incident. If she needs to, then LISTEN, but do not say anything negative or ask questions- that only makes it worse. Just play a supportive role. That is the absolute best thing anyone can do.
    Try to get her to rest, have her sleep on a sofa, or some other open, common area and just remind her that nothing bad is happening right now, and she needs to rest.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 1:47 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • We were told that the drugs that they use leave your body within hours. And there is not always "evidence" of rape. If she was conscious she wouldn't have struggled and he could of used a condom. The doctors can't tell you what the find, that would break the chain of evidence. I am not worried that the police will not do their job, but I'm wondering if we can protest his bar or make a Do Not Patronize FB page?

    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:49 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • Again, if you do, you will jeopardize the outcome of her case!!! Leave it alone, wait until a conviction.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 1:50 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • THAT IS WHY IM ASKING WHAT I CAN LEGALLY DO
    I DONT WANT TO START RUMORS
    I AM AWARE THAT I HAVE PROBABLY MET PLENTY OF PEOPLE THAT HAVE BEEN SEXUALLY ABUSED WHAT I MEANT IS I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO CLOSE TO AN ACTUALL SITUATION.
    SLOW DOWN PEOPLE I DONT WANT TO DO ANYTHING TO JEPRODIZE HER CASE
    I JUST FEEL THAT SINCE WE HAVE INFORMATION THAT THIS IS A VERY REGULAR THING< PEOPLE , WOMEN SHOULD KNOW!!!!
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:52 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • I HAVE BEEN A SUPPORTIVE ROLE
    I AM THE ONLY PERSON THAT DIDNT QUESTION HER ACTIONS
    I AM LISTENING

    IM NOT ASKING WHAT TO DO FOR HER AT THIS TIME< IVE GOT THAT
    IVE ALREADY SET UP COUNSELING AND SUCH FOR HER> I JUST WANT TO KNOW IF I CAN GET THE WORD OUT WITHOUT JEPORDIZING THE CASE OR GETTING MYSELF IN TROUBLE
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 1:56 PM on Feb. 28, 2011