Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

3 Bumps

Please Help

Ive recently posted this: my daughter has been living with me ever since she was born. her dad is not on the birth certificate, didnt sign any papers, he isnt authorized to get information from her doctor, he denied her, he doesnt have copies of anything about her. im the one with all the documents and i get benefits for her. i moved about 2 hours away and now he says that he signed her up for day care so she has to live with him and i have to hardly see her. does he have the right to keep her or do i have the right to have her live with me? also his parents are involved with or situation and they all are saying that they are going to keep her from me forever and making up all these other lies. along with the people from their church. When we were living in the same city, we would switch every week. She is 3 years old. He said he got a DNA test done but i never seen the proof. He said that he signed her up for daycare and just today he asked for her birth certificate and immunizations, which i did not give him. He was gonna go to her doctors for a copy but they wont let him because he is not authorized to get info.

I appreciate everyone who responded. I am trying to call an attorney, but i dont know what to say as soon as they answer the phone. Ive never been thru anything like this so im really clueless as how to start off the conversation. do i ask the same question i asked above? or do i say im trying to get custody of my daughter? or anything

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:52 PM on Feb. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • How did he get a DNA test done without you there?  That one is stumping me first of all.


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 1:53 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • He isn't even on the birth certificate, he can't keep her. 


    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 1:54 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • You tell them exactly that. They need the whole story and truth about everything and how you feel.
    Typically the first time you call in you need to make an appointment to see the lawyer, then you will tell them everything above at ur first appointment. Make sure they are child advocate lawyers too not just any Joe smoe lawyer.

    Answer by MelissaAnn224 at 1:55 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • He has to have proof and has to go to court before he can get any time with her. Also, how did he get HER DNA if he's never seen her?
    Just because he got a test doesn't mean anything until he takes it to court.

    do NOT let this man take her nor his family. Until a court orders differently, she is not his. Also, make sure that if he does get any time with her, that he is paying child support. You have full and sole custody and he cannot take her away without proving you to be an unfit mother. The best that he can do is to get visitation.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 1:57 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • Doesnt sound like he has a leg to stand on!

    Answer by rebeccadac at 1:57 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • If he is not on her papers, and he doesn't have legal custody of her, then he has no case unless he goes to court and files for custody. You would be invloved at that point. It doesn't matter what the DNA test says, he actually needs a paper from the court saying he has sole legal custody, and if he doesn't have that, then he is just trying to frighten you.

    Please do try to call your local legal aide or an attorney. You can also go to :


    sign up for free, find your state and Family court thread and post your question . . . I have received very good legal advice through that thread.

    Good luck.

    Answer by ImaginationMama at 1:58 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • No this is just scare tactics and him trying to gain control. Point is unless and until he goes to court and is granted visitation you don't have to hand her over to him ever. In fact if he is playing games like this I wouldn't hand her over because he may not give her back. And even if he does succeed in getting visitation he will have to pay CS.

    If he hasn't been paying support he's going to have a lot of explaining to do and going to court will probably just make him look like a fool. No judge is going to take that child out of a thriving established environment with the only parent she really has a bond with and give her to a him just because he decides suddenly decides he wants her. Thinking something doesn't make it law. He can say he has all these rights but until he goes to court he doesn't have shit.

    Do not be afraid the odds are HIGHLY in your favor here from what little you've shared

    Answer by kayslay at 2:01 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • The only way that is legally possible is if he can prove that you abandoned your child. As long as you are not taking drugs or doing any thing foolish you should be ok.

    Good luck!!!!!

    Answer by KFree907 at 2:04 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • Take the situation to court. If you are the one with all the papers, you have proof that he didn't want her & he had nothing to do with her. That will automatically give you the advantage.

    Answer by AdensMama0308 at 2:12 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • i would say just what u just said. i think its crazy these father dnt want to b fathers til it suits them

    Answer by kelleyplus2 at 2:49 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.