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3 Bumps

Are you happy in YOUR marriage?

I used to be happy. That is until I learned who my husband really is. I married him rather quickly. Three months after meeting him to be exact. He was basically what I was looking for, a good dad, provider, sweet, caring, understanding. Boy was I wrong, he is cheap, self centered, not caring at all, he yells at me, and calls me names sometimes, he is a great provider, and a good dad, but he isnt what I was expecting. Yes, my fault for marrying him so quickly. BUT I didnt want to lose this "awesome man". I thought it was too good to be true. It was. I stay bc my kids are attached. Their real father already left them, I dont want to have another guy walk out on them. I want a God fearing man, who will put the needs of his children and wife before his own, and one who will be gentle and kind... but, I guess this is how it will be...

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:44 PM on Feb. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • hugs

    babyboyzz

    Answer by babyboyzz at 2:48 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • Sorry, you are going through this. You need to have this talk with him. Why put yourself and your children through him verbally abusing you? Your children wouldn't want that for you. Children learn what they see and he is not setting a good example for them.
    I myself am very happy in my marriage. I have a loving husband who puts me first, loves and is the perfect dad to our kids, provides for us, is loving, caring, responsible and just a complete joy to be around!
    mamaada

    Answer by mamaada at 2:49 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • i'm sorry your are feeling this way i really hope everything ends up working out.
    Lynnsae

    Answer by Lynnsae at 2:51 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • I am sorry, I was in a verbally abusive relationship for years. I am free now! Woo hoo! He can be a dad to his kids, without subjecting me to the abuse. Good luck and my prayers are with you.
    parajumper3

    Answer by parajumper3 at 2:52 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • YOu are saying that his representative has left. That guy who reels you in until he's got you hook,line, and sinker. then the representative leaves and you are stuck with someone you didn't bargain for.

    That was my XH. His representative would come back each time things got rocky, for about 2 months, he would treat me like he used too. Then he would blame it on something stupid as to why he would stop acting that way. Usually he would tell me it was my fault and he used his affection like a gift that had to be earned.

    My current SO, have known him for 15 years. BFF for 9. I am very happy with him. In a year we have had no arguements, he always shows me how he feels without me asking. He doesn't use affection or love as an incentive. It's given freely.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 2:52 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • i feel the same way.
    juliness

    Answer by juliness at 2:53 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • Hey been there myself. It was also my second marriage & I also married him quickly. I was relunctant to end things because I didnt want to be a two time loser and have my kids have someone else walk out on them too. Funny thing is, when we split up (because he was cheating, mentally & emotionally abusive, etc) he asked for visits with the kids. I went to the kids about it and they told me no way, we never liked him either. Go figure. I think kids are way more aware then we give them credit for. I am much happier now, remarried and this ones a keeper. I knew him for a LONGGGGG time before we married.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 3:07 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • I just feel awfully embarrassed. All my family, and friends know him, the kids love him, and I pretend like I am so happy. I give this marriage maybe another year or so if he doesnt straighten up. And as for me, I wont be doing any serious dating. At least until I myself, am happy with being ME. Ill do updates on here from time to time.... we shall see how much longer I can stand the heat...
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 3:14 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • in all honestly this is my story to i met my husband in november and married him febuary and he is a completly diffrent man ..two yrs and two kids later his time is spent playing vedio games when hes not at work or hanging out with his friends and its hard to accept but u neeed to decide if want to spend the rest of your life with him
    Dani3lla

    Answer by Dani3lla at 3:15 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • i married my DH quickly but it has turned out great.
    HKing01

    Answer by HKing01 at 3:22 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

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