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3 Bumps

I don't know what to do :(

I am a single mom. I recently started dating a very nice man. I did not think it would go anywhere for several reasons but now that we are getting to know each other, he is amazing! He is everything that I want in a husband and nothing that I do not.

We are both in places in our lives right now where we can really only date. We cannot have relationships because neither one of us are able to put that much effort into a relationship so we agreed that we would keep the dating casual but with the expectation that we would eventually turn more serious.

The thing is, I don't think this could ever marry him because he wants more children. We have talked about it and I told him I never would want more. I even told him that if we need to stop seeing each other, that I won't be upset (maybe that was a lie). He does not want to stop seeing me. Last night he told me that it hurts him that we cannot be more serious with each other and that if I decide I want an actual boyfriend, he would be more than willing EVEN THOUGH we have our limitations on time and such.

I feel the same way! But I already know he wants more kids and that I do not. How do I just walk away from this incredible man?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:52 PM on Feb. 28, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • You don't walk away yet. You may have to if it gets to that point (where he can't accept that you do not want more kids, which is your right to decide) but for now just go where it takes you. He may decide that you are worth more to him than more kids.

    Answer by CraftingMama at 3:55 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • Try letting the relationship blossom a little more before you decide anything major. It could be that in five years you could love him so much you would want to give him a child. It could be that you could find an amazing baby in foster care that needs a forever home. Or it could be that you both make sacrifices in your relationship so that each other is happy. Good luck, I hope everything works out for you!

    Answer by alphamom26 at 3:56 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • Yes, you walk away. If he is honest about wanting kids and you are honest about not wanting more then there is no reason to get serious. It will simply end in a huge marital issue.

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 3:56 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • I agree with CraftingMama and want to add that it may go the other may decide that this man makes you so happy and that you wouldn't mine making a baby with him.

    Answer by huntin_mama at 4:01 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • Walk away...he will either try and convince you to have more children or if the possilibility of marriage should happen, will end terribly...

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 4:01 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • I think that you should probably let each other go now before things get too serious...If you have made up your mind about not wanting children, your not likely to change it and if the two of you do try and make things work he could come to resent you later for not giving him the children that he has always wanted...I'm sorry, I just dont see how this will end up having a good outcome.

    Answer by Lucky209 at 4:35 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • It is selfish to keep him in a relationship if you do not want more children, but he does. It will only cause heartache down the road.

    Answer by momofkids at 7:05 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • I agree with lucky209

    Answer by iluvmybabe at 8:24 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

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