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Learned Helplessness

My daughter does not have inner motivation to learn. She does at school not bad, but only because tutor, us as parents, tell her that she doing very good, her teacher though NEVER prizes her top performance, never support trying harder and puts her 3-4 levels below her actual reading level and below her real math abilities. She completes the work, but only because the book need to be returned to school, or because after completing the assignment she can watch TV. But she would never pick a book to read, or do the math by herself . There is three more months with this teacher ...
We went to school as parents to discuss the problem with the director, but he just labeled us as problematic parents, without doing anything at all. Any advice n how to fight self-learned helplessness?

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Asked by ganna04 at 5:29 PM on Feb. 28, 2011 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Level 14 (1,468 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • You may have to go above the directors head to the school district. When a child is put below their level they are usually bored. It seems like some teachers just pay attention to the kids who cause trouble and never see the good in others. I once went to a parent teachers night, the teacher didn't even know who my child was. She told me she must be one of the good ones because she was getting A's .
    What kind of answer is that to give a parent.

    Answer by ventingmom at 7:51 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Change schools. They sound lame. Your child is better than that place.

    Answer by TwilightMack at 11:02 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Dont stop talking to the teacher or director until you get the results necessary. If you think your discussion falls on deaf hears find another teach/tutor or new school.
    This will pass darling.
    Your a good mom for seeking help.

    Answer by Ihatelaundry at 4:07 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Talk to the teacher and ask her to give your child harder stuff. I'm sure she has a good reason for giving the easier stuff. You can always supplement at home in the things you think the school is lacking.

    Answer by Pnukey at 7:03 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • I think too many times parents want to assume the worst about teachers before really and truly communicating with them and letting them know you will do ANYTHING to work WITH them as a TEAM for the best of your child. I made this mistake years ago and will not do it again. I take the approach now of really working with teachers, talking to them a lot, and yes, even buttering them up a bit with sweet emails telling them how much I appreciate their hard work and support of my child.. It makes a world of difference. I have several friends that have gone over the teachers head to the director, rather than confronting them directly with concerns, and that automatically puts them on the defense and righfully so. I think ALL teachers deserve to be talked to and TRY to work things out before going higher, because many times the teachers are more than happy to work things out with reasonable parents that communicate honestly.

    Answer by KTMOM at 1:29 PM on Mar. 7, 2011

  • Your DD may be bored. See if she can try some harder work. If you have to go to the school board.

    Answer by Jerichos_Mommy at 1:31 PM on Mar. 30, 2011

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