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What to do about my teens and pretteens

What do I have to do to get my kids to do some housework? How do I get my daughter to obey me,I tell her to come home after school on the bus or she gets grounded,you would think that would mean a lot to her since she loves her friends so much! Obviously she doesn't care or she would've been on the darn bus today. I had to go find her and pick her up.
My kids fight all the time they swear and hit each other and I talk and talk to them an nothing happens. I need something that works, I want my kids to be obedient. All I ever ask is that they come home do their homework,have a snack, and do a job to help our house stay nice.
I'm not gonna do allowance because that didn't work. I want my kids to just help,we feed them and clothe them and put a roof over their heads,and get to go places,money is not an option. I did ground my daughter for the rest of the week for disobeying me again.
I would like help please!

 
MarGeee

Asked by MarGeee at 9:11 PM on Feb. 28, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 20 (9,059 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • STOP doing anything for them. They cook their own food, wash their own clothes, arrange for their own rides. Then take EVERYTHING away from them. NO electronics...all that is left in their room is their bed and clothes. Then they earn their belongings back one by one by following rules, directions and being respectful.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:02 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • Hmmmmm..........I'm not saying that you didn't, but respect, honestly, and just overall values are instilled as young children and reinforced as they age. You can't just start expecting them to be respectful, help around the house, etc. once they become teens. That said, if they were my children, I would take away those things they hold dear until they had nothing in their rooms but a mattress to sleep on. They would then have to EARN each item back. They would NOT be allowed any special outings, etc. until their behavior changed. They need to learn about that there are consequences for their actions or they will be in for a HUGE awakening when they move out and get jobs.

    5150mama

    Answer by 5150mama at 9:45 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • I really like the book Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves by Naomi Aldort. Her approach is radically different than yours; since yours does not seem to be working, you should give it a shot.  http://www.naomialdort.com/

    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 8:49 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • wow imature much? anon
    MarGeee

    Comment by MarGeee (original poster) at 6:02 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

  • Its an Obama conspiracy!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:40 PM on Mar. 22, 2011

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