Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

8 Bumps

My teen ranaway

I got him back with some persistence and intervention from his friends, but now what? I tell him how much I love him quite often but his little girlfriend tells him differently possibly because she gets more material things and does not have other siblings that the parents have to balance the time with. He feels like my husband pushes him around, and is always putting him down, keeps him uninvolved, when in fact it is my son pushing us away and refuses to have anything to do with us. He has huge emotional blow ups about the smallest things, screams at me, pushes me when I try and help him. Not sure what to do. I talked with my husband about his lecturing and asked him to back off some by pointing out what I see and treat him openly like the others, but he takes it so personally and gets so offended. I suggested counseling and my husband wasn't really for it. My son will be 18 in June but I just do not think he is stable enough to be out there yet. what do i do?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:38 PM on Feb. 28, 2011 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (18)
  • It could be anything.....it could be school related, especially if hes a senior and the whole grad thing, college.....it also could be a mental disorder such as bipolar. There symptoms u described fits with what my sister did until she got on some mood stablizers and she was a different person in about a month or so. Or worst case he could be into drugs. That also will cause mood swngs such as your son has.
    How long has be been doing this? But as to counseling, that could be difficult, but its never to late. Maybe just u and him go out for lunch or dinner at his fav place, go shopping whatever and see if he opens up to you since its just u and nobody else. Don't judge him, and tell him u can just keep it in between yourself and him, unless its something drastic. I'm sure your DH will understand especially if it help with the mood he been in. GL
    Michigan-Mom74

    Answer by Michigan-Mom74 at 12:02 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • u gotta let him go... he's old enough to eaither get his head straight or not,,, everythings sounds normal up until the part he pushes you. NO he can go
    miritrose

    Answer by miritrose at 11:42 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • I was gonna say counseling...though if he is almost 18-it might be too late to do much

    maybe you all need to sit down and talk it out
    charlotsomtimes

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 11:45 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • Once he is 18,all u can do is hope u raised him right. Does he at least work?
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 11:50 PM on Feb. 28, 2011

  • hugsI know he's almost 18. You want to help him and don't know how. I do believe that he is depressed. The real question here is why. It could be partly your husband, but I really don't think that is all. Did he change when he was around his current girlfriend or was it before then? It's possible that she is brainwashing him, but there is no way of knowing for sure. Talk to him and see if he is willing to go into counseling. I wouldn't make him, but offer him a chance to say on his on, and don't push the issue.He's at that age that he will start having to find some things out for himself. I do hope that things get better.

    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:15 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Is your husband the father of this child?? It doesn't sound like it from your post.

    Honestly, it doesn't matter what your husband feels....your son need counseling.....You ALL need counseling.
    twinsplus2more

    Answer by twinsplus2more at 7:56 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • If your husband is unsupportive, YOU go to counseling with your son. Hopefully you can figure out what's wrong and start working on it before he turns 18 and decides to leave again.
    SWasson

    Answer by SWasson at 8:25 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • I think you have your answer in your post. You said your son feels that his father pushes him away and refuses to have anything to do with him, and you feel its your son. I think its the way your son feels that causes him to push away and probably provides him a not so realistic view of what's happening, but don't discount how he feels. It may not be true but it is how he feels.
    The aggression and anger you describe sounds like there someone else going on. I have bipolar and I had severe blow ups when I was younger, that my parents just assume were normal. I know now that they are not. Not saying your son is bipolar but there is something going on there. Lecturing won't work, kids want to be heard. Listening is key, versus telling. My husband has the same problem - he doesn't listen and instead tells them how it should be. I'd suggest counseling, but more importantly sitting and talking about your concerns for him.
    blessedwboysx3

    Answer by blessedwboysx3 at 1:04 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Let him go I know its probably not what you want to hear but believe me at that age anyone trying to tell you what to do and when to do it is the enemy let him find his own way
    ExtremlyUnique

    Answer by ExtremlyUnique at 12:10 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • I am so sorry you are going threw this issue. Last June my oldest son runaway for a month he kept moving from friends to friend. I called the police and made a report but they couldn't find him.... I was seeing his friends status on facebook and updated pictures of his friends house so i knew he was alive. So then i posted on everyone of there pages that my son had runaway and I was going to press charges on who ever's house he was found at and the parents that was harboring my child as well. He then had no where to go and was back home two days later. uhmmmm for me that should of been a quicker lesson to know. I know now...lol.... I am sorry your son is being mentally abused by his GF.. That is not a good thing. I hope you the best of luck and try to hook him up with other girls to get him away from the bad one.

    kalynskorner

    Answer by kalynskorner at 1:13 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

Next question in Teens (13-17)
Just a tip....

Next question overall (General Parenting)
Silly question