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Would you think this is okay?

DH and I recently found out that I'm pregnant with our third child. We are beyond thrilled, cuz it took a while. Of course my in laws were less than happy for us when we told them. I don't know why I expected anything different since they've always been hateful to me for no reason. Since they are being like that, and making rude comments, is it fair to say I shouldn't be expected to go out of my way to update them on the pregnancy as it goes along? Its not like they seem to to care at all. I won't hold back information from them, but I don't feel like I should keep trying to be nice if they keep being a-holes no matter what.


Asked by Anonymous at 4:58 PM on Nov. 20, 2008 in Pregnancy

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • You are under no obligation to keep anyone updated on your progress. Let alone jerky people who just make you feel badly. :( I'm sorry for that. Congratulations though!

    Answer by SusieD250 at 7:54 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • i agree if they ask tell them if they dont then its there loss.

    Answer by Mommy2B04 at 5:00 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • I wouldnt worry about them . I would just only tell her whats goin on if they ask. I wouldnt go out of my way to make sure they are happy and updated

    Answer by BabyBugsmama at 5:01 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • I wouldn't update them. No one in my family was thrilled that I had either of my two kids so they were kept out of the loop. Many in my family suggested I have an abortion with my DD because I was 18 when I got pregnant. Well she's a happy, healthy 5 year old now and I wouldn't change a thing! The thing that really fried me was when the ones who suggested abortion said they couldn't imagine not having her here, they could imagine life without her if they suggested abortion.

    I'm vindictive like that, if you're not thrilled about a baby on the way, don't act all lovey dovey when the baby arrives.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:02 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • Right a letter and mail it to them. Letters always worked for me. My sister went through the same thing.
    Explain that you are having a hard time dealing with the communication errors you both have and that you feel you have tried and you can't really worry about them right now becuase you are having another baby and thats the most important thing right now. Then tell them everytime you try to share the updated news you feel they are rude and could careless. Tell them if they want a part in yours and the baby's life they need to make the effort this time. Explain you wish they would communicate with you a little more.

    You can change it up or not even use it but I wrote ther letter for my sister and she now has an amazing relationship with his parents. Anyways, good luck!

    Answer by Fallon_Long at 5:12 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • LOL I worte Right a letter, I meant Write a letter.

    Answer by Fallon_Long at 5:13 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • I wouldn't go out of your way to share info with them if they don't ask.

    Answer by reflect1light at 5:17 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • I would definitely keep them OUT of the loop. If they go out of their way to find out how it's going, then fine. But since they are the ones who screwed up, I wouldn't let them know anything without some effort on their part. This is supposed to be an exciting time, no matter what circumstances may have caused them to feel negatively towards you. They should be thrilled and if they are not, then forget them.

    Answer by Kenzleahcah at 5:22 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • Dont go out of your way.

    Answer by LovinMyMikayla at 6:49 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • I agree. You shouldn't have to go through the effort of keeping them informed. If they want to know they can ask. I went through the same thing with my ex-husband's parents. His mother didn't care so I never made an effort in keeping her informed on my pregnancies or their progress as they grow however his father did ask how my pregnancies were going and still e-mails me asking how the girls are doing and I often send him new photos even though me and his son have been apart nearly two years.

    Answer by momof2inCT2007 at 7:00 PM on Nov. 20, 2008