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2 Bumps

Mothers who have no relationship with the father/fathers of their children ho do you cope with it?

I am angry that i didnt get to have a pleasurable pregnancy I went to my appointents alone, picked names out alone, threatning phone calls and so much more I love my children to death but I dont understand why I am holding on to this resentment ?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:18 AM on Mar. 1, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I got the same thing and 20 months later he contacted me to relinquish rights. All for the best IMO. I will be filing the paperwork in the next week, thank god. It's such a relief to finally have that jack ass out of our lives...

    I have no advice to you, but if he isn't a beneficial part of the childs life then he has to be detrimental... Not sure what your options are.

    GL
    Razelda

    Answer by Razelda at 12:21 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • I'm sorry that you had to go through it alone. My son's father doesn't have anything to do with him and he left us right before my son's first birthday which was almost 3 years ago. I haven't even talked to him in months. You have the responsibility of your children everyday and even though you love them to death it's very difficult to do alone. Also it's hard as a parent to see the other parent not care when you love your children so much and you don't understand why they don't and how they could go on not caring. It angers you to see them not give your children the love they deserve from both parents. Because of those things I don't think the resentment ever goes away. It's a feeling you can't really control and the easiest thing to do is accept it until you get over it. That's what I have done.
    kayaiden8907

    Answer by kayaiden8907 at 12:27 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • I SOOOO feel your pain. I remember sitting in the OB's waiting room pregnant and all by myself watching all the happy mommies and daddies. It was so hard. My child's father split when I told him I was pregnant so I have done the WHOLE thing by myself. I HOLD TONS AND TONS of resentment. I often lash out at him in a ridiculous text message or e-mail because I resent him so much. He never responds, then I always feel like a complete idiot. I think mean thoughts about him and hope for bad things to happen to him. I carry so much anger around because of it and I don't know how to let go of it. I would not trade my daughter for the world. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me and nobody knows love until they have a child but I question ALL the time how he can't just keep on living life knowing he has a beautiful amazing daughter just across town that he never sees and has never paid a dime of support to. So Sorry!

    AshellG27

    Answer by AshellG27 at 12:46 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • I was in your position too, many years ago. I ended up marrying the 1st man who would have me and had a few other kids. Don't know if it resolved how sad I felt, but it helped me to forget about it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:32 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Try not to think of it as being alone. You are strong. You are a single parent doing great things. I understand what you're going through, but you know, it just means that we have the opportunity to find someone who could be an even better parent to our kids than the original sperm donors.
    mpm915

    Answer by mpm915 at 12:39 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • i went through it all alone too, the pregnancy and most of her life until a few months ago when we got back together.. i still hold so much resentment against him, and it has destroyed our relationship that we have now.. we are finally at the point we are calling it quits and me and our daughter are moving into my parents home.. he is an amazing dad, so i try to not let what he has done to me affect the relationship he has with our daughter even though he denied her while i was pregnant and a few months after she was born :(..
    sunshinebaby209

    Answer by sunshinebaby209 at 3:36 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • oooh no relationship.. sorry, i didnt read that correctly
    sunshinebaby209

    Answer by sunshinebaby209 at 3:36 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Hugs! I understand what you are goung through. I was there, but my kids were older. It is wanting things to be different which is holding your thoughts captive. ACCEPT that this is the way it is. Quit trying to fight what are the facts of your life. They are just facts and the past is gone. Watch your thoughts and keep them positive and grateful. It could have been worse. When these bad thoughts come up, just change them. It takes practice,, but it will make your life better. You are responsible for you and your childrens lives. Do not act like HE has that power. Change your thinking, change your life. :-) It truely helps to pray and see others with compassion, no matter what. Anger is pain which comes out sideways. Let it go and live. Life is too short. Either that or live a miserable life past tripping, beating yourself up, and hating others. The facts will remain the same.
    LeJane

    Answer by LeJane at 8:40 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

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