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How do you bond with a foster/adopt kids?

I just want to know methods to bond with a kid 3 and up?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:45 AM on Mar. 1, 2011 in Adoption

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Taking medical leave if you can. As much time as you can. Some companies do not have provisions for adoption leave but many do. If you work find your company's policy and speak to your HR department. If you have a spouse then taking time off to be with both of you or to do his medical leave after your's is a good idea. Limiting friends and family is a must. They have a life time to meet your child but your duty is tonlet your child know you are the care takers and to want you to be the ones to be dependent on. At three you can still do some bottle feedings. Sounds odd I know. But if you can rock her with milk, hold her close, and sing...this helps with attatchment. Or offer a sippy cup as an alternative. Many adoption experts agree feedings are an important time and back tracking a little helps in the long run. This doesn't replace regular meals...just in addition to. As much holding and nearness as possible. Again,
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 6:41 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Here are 10 Five-Minute Bonding Activities as well as links to other ideas. http://adoption.about.com/od/parenting/tp/fiveminutebond.htm


    Some include reading stories, singing songs, clapping games, rocking, staring contests (to promote eye contact) lotioning, tucking in at night, painting fingers and toe nails, etc. The link provides more of the reasons why these are good suggestions and the goals in each one. Good luck! :) 

    doodlebopfan

    Answer by doodlebopfan at 3:08 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Some back tracking here is healthy. Playing clapping games, peek-aboo, reading/singing simple books and stories. Hold her while you dance to music. This is why limiting friends/family is a must. They want to play and hold her but those first few months you have to be the one to do this for healthy strong attatchment. Routines that are simple. Limit going to church, outings, and stick to close to home. Sleeping in the same room - you on a cot in her room. Your nearness will be important. Don't lether cry it out. Answer her every single time. She has to trust you will be there. That takes experience for her to get it. Don't worry about potty training if that is an issue. For now the goal is attatchment. Don't put yourself in the role of what she may see as angry, upset, or frustrated. Potty training can wait until she is settled. Attatchment is ongoing and you will have to continuously work at it. Proving
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 6:50 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Treat them with respect, learn from them their likes and dislikes. Some kids in the foster system you have to walk a fine line when it comes to being a friend versus mom.
    Kathy675

    Answer by Kathy675 at 12:53 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Yourself over and over. People will wonder if you are babying her and over protective. YES! Because that is what is best for at least the first year. GL!
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 6:52 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • I think that would be a very tough decision. I think i would listen to them and see what they have to say and 10 minutes of listing could tell you alot about the children to put you on a path or direction.

    kalynskorner

    Answer by kalynskorner at 12:51 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • I think you would have to get to know each other. They would need to learn to trust you.In time you will start to bond.

    HomeAlone45

    Answer by HomeAlone45 at 3:59 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

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