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Hating or loving your life as a mom?

I love my son so much but I miss my old life too. My son's father has him two nights a week and so I get to go out but then when I go out, all I think about is how my son is doing. But when I'm with my baby, sometimes I just look forward to getting to go out and have a break. It's a vicious circle. How do you mesh your old life with your new one and keep your sanity?

 
madrigalreject

Asked by madrigalreject at 5:30 PM on Nov. 20, 2008 in General Parenting

Level 5 (78 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • Things can get hectic around here, and somedays I literally wish I could just leave for a few days, not that I ever would, just a feeling. I love to be able to go out with my friends or DH. Being away from the kids once or twice a week helps me keep my sanity. No matter how little or how often I get away, I'm always ready to get back to my babies. I love them to death, but everybody needs a break once in a while. It's just unhealthy to be around any one person 24/7. I don't think I'll completely have my old life back ever. This is the path I chose in life, and I don't think I'd ever trade it for anything. But it is fun to go out and just have a good kid-free time every once in a while.
    JDanesMommy

    Answer by JDanesMommy at 5:40 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • No idea. I have been a mom since I was 18 yrs old. My oldest is now 19 almost 20 and I never missed my old life. My kids are my life and when I am away from them even for a couple hours I cant wait to get back to them. In short, I never had that problem. I cant imagine going out with friends or partying. Unimaginable to me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:33 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • I couldn't imagine my life, nor want to, without my children. I have been a mom since I was 19 and I am not 44.. I have two beautiful daughters and two wonderful grandchildren. I would never chose my life before.
    pupmom

    Answer by pupmom at 5:42 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • I feel EXACTLY the way you do. Some days I just want to pull my hair out, and wish I had my old life, but can't image it without my daughter. Kind of doesn't make sence, but I feel that way sometimes. Than when I do get to go out on my own ( which is very few and far between) I just want to be with my daughter. I really don't have any advice, but I just wanted to tell you that your not the only one out there. I'm here with ya too!
    Trishy7

    Answer by Trishy7 at 5:53 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • I feel the same way a lot of days. Not that I would EVER give up my kids, sometimes I do definately miss the freedom of being able to do what I want. Now even just a simple trip to the store seems like an event, getting the kids ready, loading them into the car, blah, blah, blah. I'm a SAHM and dh works long hours, so I'm alone a lot, and I go weeks at a time without a break from them. On the very very rare occassions I get to go somewhere without them, they are all I think about. So I don't know how to find that medium either, just wanted to say you're not the only one!
    mom2XandZ

    Answer by mom2XandZ at 6:43 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • Put it into perspective.

    What is it you miss about your old life?

    Since being a mother my values and principles in life have completely changed. When I was pregnant I had time for reflection and really realized what was important.

    I would never want to go back to my old life. It lacked something and that something was my beautiful son :) He has given me contentment, happiness and a sense of well being - my old life was a mess. I sorted my head out when I was pregnant - I addressed a lot of my issues. I know I would have never done that if it wasnt for my son.

    Life is a lot simpler for me and I like it that way.
    keyaziz

    Answer by keyaziz at 7:57 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • I am lucky that my husband and I are equal partners in parenting. We take breaks. He will tell me to go take a hot shower, relax, go out with a friend....I do the same for him. Sometimes we just need some me time and that's okay. We do make sure to do things as a family together but this also gives us a chance to do one-on-one with our son. Sometimes its nice to go to the zoo with just my son. We share laughs, experiences, and hugs. Like wise extended family has been helpful. When they visit we get to sleep in or have less baby duty. We do need to go on more dates as a couple and we are working on that one. But anytime we asked my extended family would take him for the week end. So far we have only taken them up on the offer once.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:28 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • i dont get my "old"life anymore.i am a full time mom, house keeper, and i work 30 hrs a week. i chose this"new" life.
    jbirchard

    Answer by jbirchard at 8:45 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • meh...my life now is my kids. i would love a break everynow and then. but one thing you have to realize is when you have kids your old life is gone. because children change your life. honestly i think if i had a fewdays off to myself i would maybe clean a little and sleep alot.lol...that is jsut me. i have a one yr old and a 4 yr old i am a single mother. i am all about uninterupted sleep right now..lol..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:35 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

  • For me its a mix of both, I love my son to death but even though I am still with his father, he (hubby) acts like whenever he gets home from work thats it. Doesnt need to help get Isaac ready for bath time before DS goes to bed or give me a break so i can do hw or anything. I do miss my old life because I moved from California to Texas to be with Hubby and the next year in April i was preggy. The main things i miss are my friends, family, and the familiar area and freedom of being able to walk around when I wanted and where I wanted. But I also think of it like if I didnt ever move, I would never have my little baby Isaac.
    LadyUsagi

    Answer by LadyUsagi at 10:52 PM on Nov. 20, 2008

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