Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Drinking every night??? (wordy)

My s/o drinks around eight beers a night. At first it was fine with me he wasn't out of the way with anything just a few drinks. Last night he discussed something on the phone with me that we had discussed the night before, and I asked him did he not remember talking about that with me, and he went silent then said he remembered. I am thinking he only remembered part of it and not all of it. He said he started drinking some when he hurt his arm at work two years ago because the pain pills made him sick. BUT that is also around the time that his ex wife came back after abadoning thier children and himself and took him to court and took thier childrein back from him. Could he be drinking like he does to numb the pain??? Seems his mom is always on his butt about something and like he is in a partial rut. He normal drinks 8-10 beers a night but sometimes I think he drinks more once in a while, I guess depending on the day.
I love him and try to support him 100%, but not remembering something that we had already talked about because of the alcohol makes me worry. He is so far a good guy other than the beer at night and that is the only time he drinks. When I made a couple of comments that I made last night, which were basically questions such as "goodness how much did you have last night?" He seems to be touchy about it and gets a little attitude. I only want the best for him and I know I can't do it for him.
I am not sure he needs to go as far as going to AA because it is only a nightly thing,he isn't drinking 24/7 but then again I don't know I know nothing about any of this.
Any advice???

 
AmI88

Asked by AmI88 at 9:58 AM on Mar. 1, 2011 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,194 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • my sister is an alcoholic and it all depends on you and if you can handle it, because if he is drinking this much now it has a big chance of inc
    reasing to more. I know you said you were ok with it until this happened, but it can change a person in a big way, thats about what my sister was drinking at first but now she is up to a case a day, and she lost custody of her kids over it and it didn't stop her any. She has turned mean, she calls everyone just to start trouble, she is very mean to our Mother.
    I guess the best you can do is talk to him and see if he will cut back, he may not have a severe problem just yet but if it continues then it is possible, i am just going by my experience but i know every person is different.
    jenn4443

    Answer by jenn4443 at 10:23 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • aa
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:02 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • AA for him. Anyone who drinks 6-8 beers a night has a problem with alcohol. Not all alcoholics drink 24/7. My grandfather was a functioning alcoholic. He had to have that 1-2 drinks a night. My mom is similar, but she drinks 2-4 drinks.

    Al-anon for you. Even if he doesn't go to AA, Al-anon will help you in your life and decisions. Having an alcoholic in your life is not easy. Trust me, I've lived with it since I was a toddler.

    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 10:08 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • IMHO, if he's drinking any amount other than what one would consider *social drinking*, it's too much.  No one should NEED alcohol.  And honestly, you know him best, if you think it's become a problem then it probably is.

    CookieMom108

    Answer by CookieMom108 at 10:33 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • jodi: i personally don't think 1-2 or even 3-4 is a problem. but when you get to the realm of 6 or more EVERY night and being pissy about anyone mentioning it, yes there is a problem. even if they are high functioning.
    juliness

    Answer by juliness at 10:58 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • my dh drinks that much and that is "normal" for him. he buys a case every 3 days like clockwork. he won't admit his alcoholism though because like i said he thinks its normal. it's not though. mine is also at night, his excuses are many, but it doesn't change anything. plus it's expensive. if you're not ok with it, let him know, don't make my mistake and become an accidental enabler
    juliness

    Answer by juliness at 10:03 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • I was ok with it up until it seemed he couldn't remember part of our converstaion that made me feel uncomfortable. Sometimes I think he is like a pt acholoic just not sure haven't never delt wiht this before. May I ask what you mean by an accidental enabler?? I am sorry but I am new to all this.....
    AmI88

    Comment by AmI88 (original poster) at 10:09 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • It all depends on the person, but generally, drinking 8 beers in one sitting is not considered moderate or healthy. They say men should only have 2-3 drinks in one sitting, over 5 is considered 'binge drinking.' I can't judge him, though. I love having a few drinks and at one point in my life, was going a little over board. I thought I was an alcholic, turns out I was diagnosed with chronic depression. I was drinking because it was the only legal way I knew of to change my mood. I still go overboard occasionally (and for me, that is around 2-3 drinks in one sitting) but I no longer want to get wasted all the time to feel happy. You can definitely be a 'situational alcoholic' meaning that you're not always drinking but when you do, you find it hard to stop.
    danielp

    Answer by danielp at 10:17 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • No one says drinking is wrong.....but that is what I am wondering could he be drinking like he does because he is depressed somewhat about his kids etc., I just want to know if there is anything I can do to help him. I know I can't fix everything for him, but maybe some encouragement something.
    AmI88

    Comment by AmI88 (original poster) at 10:26 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Oh and not remembering, that's basically blacking out.  And that is not good.

    CookieMom108

    Answer by CookieMom108 at 10:34 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN