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If your child doesn't listen?

What does it take for you to put them in time out?
For example : DD took her pudding cup off the table and into the living room to eat it. I told her she needed to put it on the table in the kitchen if she wants to eat it. If not she was going to go in time out. She then proceeded to take a spoonful and tell me "no". At that point do I just put her in time out and take her pudding cup away?
I know this probably sounds stupid, but emotionally I'm shot and it's affecting my ability to parent my children. I need some help getting back on track and not feel like I'm being teamed up on by my kids.

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:26 AM on Mar. 1, 2011 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (10)
  • Yes, i would have taken it away and put her in time out. One minute for every year old she is. good luck

    Answer by L0vingMy3Girls at 10:29 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • And if she doesn't listen after that? Just keep putting her in time out? Do I explain why she's in time out, do I not look at her while she's there?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:30 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Yes, she should have a consequence for outright defiance. If you tell her to do something, and she tells you no or refuses to do it she needs a consequence. The consequence could be losing the pudding cup, time-out, both, or something else. With my kids I would throw the pudding cup away and send them to their room.


    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 10:33 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Firstly, you need to explain the ground rules, there are three in my house.
    1. You must keep yourself to yourself (no hitting, kicking, biting, etc.)
    2. You must listen the first time you are spoken to
    3. You must show respect to everyone in the house
    My suggestion is to sit them down and explain the new rules. Then explain the consequences for breaking the rules, whether its a time out or taking something away. In my home it works better that they lose the wii or cell phone, depending on their age for 24 hours. Then all you need to do is stay consistent, and when they need a punishment, make sure they understand why. Tell them, don't ask them. You were in this time out because you hit your brother, or you did not listen when I asked you to eat at the table. The key is consistency. Good luck! Parenting is the hardest, but most rewarding job ever.

    Answer by parajumper3 at 10:33 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • You don't need to explain why she's in time-out. She will know without having it explained, and actually less talking is often more effective. And, yes, if she is defiant again there needs to be another consequence.

    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 10:35 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • tween, should it be the same one? time out?

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:38 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • I think time out for little ones is silly. Until we can discuss what they did wrong I don't put them in time out. Little ones can't discuss issues. I would have taken the pudding and put it on the table and told her that if she wants it, she eats it there. End of story.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:38 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • With my kids I'd probably put them right back in their room for a repeat offense, but if it's an ongoing problem and that consequence doesn't seem to be having much effect I'd try something different. If there is something that your daughter looks forward to that can be taken away, that might be more effective. For instance if she looks forward to going to the park or some other special activity, I might say, "Oh, that is so sad. I can only take girls who listen to Mommy to the park. Maybe tomorrow you'll feel like listening."

    As for little ones not being able to discuss things, I don't think that matters. It will be obvious to them that when they do certain undesirable things they end up in time out or have some unwanted consequence. They are very smart and understand a lot before they can communicate it. Assuming they won't "get it" is insulting to them.


    Answer by TweenAndTwinMom at 1:06 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • yes i would've taken it away, We don't eat in the living room.. as soon as my son trys to take something out of the kitchen i stop him , put it on the table and say this is where we eat.. "with a smile:

    Answer by Mrs.Ro at 2:46 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • I actually have a question way does she have to eat it at the table.... its a snack not a meal. I also do not believe in time out its a waste of time its not a real form of punishment if u felt it was serious enough to punish her you should spank her and send her to her room.

    Answer by myboysRmyhero at 3:01 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

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