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2 Bumps

Is it wrong?

Me and my husband have chossen not to take our son to chruch untill he is old enough(he is 2.5) to ask to go or what its about and our family memebers know this but yet contnue to ask to take him is it wrong that I tell them no and how can i nice put it so they will stop asking with out coming off like a totaly rude person? Because our son loves these people and I dont want to have to ask them to stop coming around.

 
myboysRmyhero

Asked by myboysRmyhero at 10:33 AM on Mar. 1, 2011 in Religious Debate

Level 15 (1,908 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • No way! You guys are doing the right thing for sure. Letting your kid decide seems to be a new concept. Why shouldn't they decide for themselves how they want to believe. We do the same with our kids. Let them choose their own beliefs. They are people, after all. We should respect our kids as such.
    TwilightMack

    Answer by TwilightMack at 2:53 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • See they dont see it that way they feel because they are family that they have a say in how he is raised!


    OKay so you state that you understand they want to be part of his life but YOU and your husband are his PARENTS and have the FINAL decision on the matter. And they can either accept that or cause strain in the relationship by trying to undermine your authority as parent.
    KristiS11384

    Answer by KristiS11384 at 10:57 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Just tell them, they raised their kids. Now, you are raising yours. End of story, no further explanation.
    jewjewbee

    Answer by jewjewbee at 10:36 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Your child, your decision, end of story.
    TARARENEE

    Answer by TARARENEE at 10:37 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • It's your decision. I didn't wait for my child to ask. Kids don't know what they want. , I believe that and I raised my children in my faith and that they will be able to make the choices for their life, when they have a job and are in full control of their destiny. It worked for me
    adnilm

    Answer by adnilm at 10:43 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • They can see it however they like, the simple reality is that they have zero right. Simply tell them no. They do not need an explanation or justification from you- You are his parent, they are not. They have no rights, no claim, nothing.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 11:00 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • I guess it depends on how your family operates-if you depend on them a lot for other aspects of raising him then you can understand where the confusion on their part comes in- there are a lot of people that have their parents watch their child quite a bit, depend on them for money and other things and then can not understand when their parents blur the lines-
    My neighbor is this way- her parents have the kids quite a bit and her parents pay for school and sports, etc... so they are pretty intertwined- when she all of a sudden wants to draw a line it gets messy- I tend to think- almost everything comes with strings attached and she needs to decide if taking from her parents is worth the ensuing interference in her parenting- KWIM?
    soyousay

    Answer by soyousay at 11:06 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Time for you and your husband to present a united front and say "WE are his parents, and WE have decided to wait until he is older and then introduce him to the Church. I hope you will respect our wishes and please stop pushing the church issue!"
    My hubs mom was like this--although in her case she was pushing for my kids to go to HER church (that hubs and I were not affiliated with). We stood firm and told her NO! She did not like it but eventually she backed down.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 10:52 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Privately make sure they know how you feel. It could sound something like this: This is our decision, and I need you to stand by that with us. It is so difficult to raise children today and we need to be supported in our decisions because if you start questioning our authority before he is even 2, when he is older, he will know that what we say is not important to you. He loves you and I want you to continue being around him, but I need help with this.
    parajumper3

    Answer by parajumper3 at 10:38 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • See they dont see it that way they feel because they are family that they have a say in how he is raised!
    myboysRmyhero

    Comment by myboysRmyhero (original poster) at 10:44 AM on Mar. 1, 2011

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