I feel like I have completely lost control of my 6 year old. ( a little background). DH and I have done our best to be consistant in disiplining and keeping a fairly normal schedule to be followed in our house, but its gotten harder since our 2 other boys arrived (2 years old, 2 months old). We have worked hard to make sure he gets the attention he needs, but if you have 3 kids.. you know how impossible this is. I am a mostly SAHM (minimal PT job when DH is home from work). DH and I have a great relationship and we love our kids dearly. Life has been rough because our 3rd child was unexpected, and it has taken a toll on us with finances, etc. We live in a small 2 bed 1 bath apartment, and are unable to move to a larger space, so the 2 boys share a room and the baby is in our room (for now).
My oldest is constantly bossing around his 2 year old brother, acting very intimidating to him, stealing his toys, blaming him for things he doesnt do, telling me he wants him dead..... its awful. When his brother was first born, he adored him. Everything was fine until this last year.. when brother started wanting to play with big brohers toys and was able to get to them. I have tried EVERYTHING to make sharing fair to each (including letting both boys have their toys that are off limits to anyone else), but this space is small and its hard to give them seperate playing areas or their own 'alone time'. Oldest son is not willing to share anythign anyways, and it is a constant battle. He also is acting out at me and DH, always complainign about everything, saying no about EVERYTHING, saying he hates school, he refuses to read or do homework, complains about anything we make for food, has become extremely demanding.... I hate it. We dont give in of course, and he has to read or do homework (though he will cry the entire time). He is disiplined when he acts out but its like it doesnt even phase him. It takes every thing in me not to beat some sense into him (i do no physically abuse my kids).
I dont like him anymore. I try so hard to communicate, to understand him, to be sympathetic that he is an older brother and I am sure he is feeling left out, etc.... I try to include him, try to make special time for just us... but nothing seems to be helping. I wake up every day dreading the guilt I know I will feel all day because I lose patience with him so quickly, and I cannot stand to see him be so rude to his brother or hear him defy everything i ask. I am so so sick of this battle. I serisouly just want to leave so I dont have to deal with him anymore. I cant make things better for him.. I dont know how.
What can I do? Should I take us to counceling? I think he would be afraid and not understand... He is an amazingly brilliant kid and a very sensitive one as well... Im so lost. I feel like I am failing and I cant take the heart break anymore. It is ruining the relationships with everyone in this house.
Asked by Anonymous at 11:03 AM on Mar. 1, 2011 in General Parenting
Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 AM on Mar. 1, 2011
Answer by Punkslilncs at 11:14 AM on Mar. 1, 2011
Answer by parajumper3 at 11:20 AM on Mar. 1, 2011
Answer by Rebecca.R. at 11:26 AM on Mar. 1, 2011
Answer by Rebecca.R. at 11:29 AM on Mar. 1, 2011
Answer by salexander at 1:46 PM on Mar. 1, 2011