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3 Bumps

Not taking Sides

I am friends with a married couple and an engaged couple. They had a falling out about the engaged couple becoming engaged. Both of the couples are good friends of mine but I don't want to be caught in the middle of anything and I want to remain friends with both couples. Any advice on this?

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Mom0413

Asked by Mom0413 at 12:39 PM on Mar. 1, 2011 in Relationships

Level 11 (591 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Just don't take sides. When one group starts running their mouths, stop them. Tell them that you are not involved with the situation and aren't taking sides. Its something they need to work out between the two couples, not with you.
    KWnavywife

    Answer by KWnavywife at 12:41 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Just don't discuss it with either couple. If one of them tries to draw you into a conversation about it, just say "I'd prefer not to talk about so-and-so when they're not here. I'd really just like to stay out of the whole thing. Thank you for respecting that".
    vicesix

    Answer by vicesix at 12:42 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • I would talk to both of them and let them know where you stand but also make them aware that you will still be there for either of them if they need to just talk and promise to keep it just between you guys. (Also try to stick to that promise too, otherwise it can cause even bigger issues.
    iluvmm09

    Answer by iluvmm09 at 12:42 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Be up front and say that topic is off limits youre not getting involved. Talk about something else or stop talking.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 12:42 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • I agree with these ladies, just don't talk to them about each other, if they start talking about the other couple then stop them and tell them you like all parties involved and don't want to ruin your friendship so please keep their comments to themselves about the other.
    momto4girzls

    Answer by momto4girzls at 12:53 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • honey, this is why I don't really have friendships with couples!
    seems like so often you get caught in the middle just with the one couple, let alone two couples!

    If you want to listen, don't agree with them when they bash the others. but on the same note, don't be surprised if couple #1 tells Couple #2 that you agree with them even if you never said that.

    You may not be able to salvage both friendships I hope you can, but it may not happen.
    good luck!
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 1:22 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • I don't know. My friends know that I will tell them what I think (as opposed to comiserating), but also know that I won't judge them or think less of them if they tell me real feelings. For example, I have a girlfriend that secretly hates one of her stepchildren, and I will tell her "you married a man with children, don't ever put him in a position where he has to choose between you and a child.", which isn't necessarily what she wants to hear, but it is honest, and I don't fault her for her feelings...nor do I run to her husband and tell him...and he gets the same treatment.

    I think that everyone NEEDS to have someone they can go to and be honest, get honest feedback, and not be judged. If you can offer that, I think it would be wonderful for both of them, because they probably need it now more than ever. However, if you don't think you can stay neutral, I would try to cut them off from talking about each other to you.
    Mom-2-3-Girlz

    Answer by Mom-2-3-Girlz at 1:24 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • i give oppinions to friends who ask but i am always sure to say wat i would do .... wat i would feell... from wat i can see..... or im just saying ... dot to this cuz im saying..... just make sure u dont cross a line that might get others in trouble or regret wat they are doing
    Dani3lla

    Answer by Dani3lla at 2:10 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

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