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How to figure out this quandary? (long)

My DS will be 3 this month. He has a b-day dinner on the actual day (31st) and a kiddie style party on Saturday (april 2nd). My problem is with inviting adults, which will require a little back story.

I'll try to make it short. My mom was married 3 times. All decent guys. I still consider them family and want them to feel free to be a part of DS's life. Last year I invited Stepdad #1 & #2 to the kiddie party and only #2 and Mom to his b-day dinner. It was the first time Stepdad #1 met DS.

I called my Real Dad last week to ask a question about a family member. I have only talked to him a few times, sent him pics of DS but he's never met him. I blurted out, "You should come to his b-day party!"

Now I have to figure out, who to have to which party. I wanted to invite SD #1 to b-day dinner, so they could sit and chat and not have to deal with kiddie craziness. But now I don't know when to invite Real Dad. I could avoid really having to say much if he came to the kiddie party, since I would be pretty busy, but that feels rude at the same time.

Both stepdads are used to one another, but I feel awkward bringing another dad into the situation. I guess I am mainly concerned with their reactions. What to do?

(For the record, if it makes any difference, Stepdad #2 who was married to mom until she passed away is considered, "Papaw" to my son and they see each other frequently)


Asked by wildsun at 2:25 PM on Mar. 1, 2011 in Relationships

Level 12 (755 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (4)
  • I think you should have ur real dad over early before the party or dinner, whichever you choose to have him attend so you can have a few minutes to talk and introduce your son to him. Step dad #1 and your real dad should understand that your son has more of a relationship with SD#2 and that's why he calls him Papaw and that if they choose to be more involved, maybe they can acquire grandfather-like names later. And if everyone is adults, they should all behave like adults and not cause conflict at a child's birthday party and you can invite them to either one.

    Answer by huntin_mama at 7:25 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • I don't invite adults to b-day parties for kids.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:49 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Hm, sounds complicated. I don't think there is anything wrong with inviting your "real" dad to the kiddie party, even if you are busy. Everyone knows the host will be running around most of the time. I would think about your son, and who he would enjoy more at each birthday event. The men are all grown, so drama shouldn't arise and they should be understanding. Good luck!

    Answer by lexi8622 at 2:57 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • talk to them individually I am sure they wil understand after all this is for your son and your memory concerning him. Anyone that cant be nice should not attend and this should all be together at the family party. Let the kids be kids at the kid party.

    Answer by 21lisa72 at 8:55 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

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