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I JUST DONT FEEL LIKE IM CAPABLE OF HELPING MY SON GET THROUGH THIS TRADGITY adult content

MY EX HUSBAND PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY ABUSED MY SON AND I AM LEFT TO CLEAN UP AFTER WHAT HE HAS DONE YET AGAIN. I TRIED TO PREVENT THIS FROM HAPPENING BUT HE WAS AWARDED CUSTODY ANYWAYS NOW HE IS IN JAIL FOR CHILD ABUSE ON MY SON AND I AM FIGHTING AGAIN FOR CUSTODY. IT HAS BEEN 2 MOTNHS SINCE IVE HAD MY SON BACK FULL TIME AND IT SEEMS LIKE AS THE DAYS PASS HE REGRESSES FURTHER AND I TRY SO HARD TO RE AFFIRM STABILITY AND SAFTEY EVERYDAY AND EVERY DAY THAT PASSES MY 4 YR OLD SON SEEMS TO SPIRAL DOWNWARD FURTHER. HOW DO I GET HIM THROUGH THIS AND KEEP MY SANITY. IM SO ANGRY WITH MY EX HUSBAND FOR WHAT HE HAS DONE TO MY SON. ITS NOT MY SONS FAULT THIS HAPPENED AND EVERYONE SAYS ITS NOT MY FAULT BUT I FEEL LIKE IM FAILING HIM YET AGAIN. HE WILL BE 5 THIS JULY AND HE STARTS SCHOOL THIS YEAR. I CANT EVEN GET HIM TO DO THINGS MY 2 YR OLD DAUGHTER DOES. MY SON WAS POTTY TRAINED AND THATS ALMOST COMPLETELY DETERRIORATED AND I FEEL LIKE MAYBE IM NOT SUITABLE TO BE THE PERSON HANDLING THIS PROBLEM. EVERY NIGHT I CRY BECAUSE IM WATCHING HIM REGRESS AND IM ENCOURAGING HIM TO DO THINGS HE SHOULD BE DOING AND I DONT PUSH HIM HARD. THINGS THAT HE SHOULD DO HE REFUSES HES GETTING TO THE POINT THAT HE IS GETTING DISREPECTFUL AND TALKING BACK TO ME IN A AGGRESSIVE TONE. I DONT KNOW HOW TO HANDLE THIS. I FEEL LIKE I CANT DISAPLINE IM BECAUSE OF WHAT HIS FATHER HAS DONE. EVERY TIME HE DOES SOMETHING HE KNOWS IS WRONG HE YELLS NOOOO AND FALLS TO THE GROUND OR HIDES BECAUSE HE THINKS IM GOING TO HIT HIM. IT BREAKS MY HEART. I FEEL SO LOST AND UN EQUIPPED TO HELP HIM. HOW DO I MAKE IT THROUGH THIS??? PLEASE SOME ONE HELP ME....

Answer Question
 
CyaSeraph

Asked by CyaSeraph at 2:31 PM on Mar. 1, 2011 in Kids' Health

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (18)
  • Write in lowercase, I can't understand!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:31 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Therapy ... for both of you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:32 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • *Hugs*
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:33 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Go to a child therapist!
    MelissaAnn224

    Answer by MelissaAnn224 at 2:34 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • How incredibly sad. My heart aches for you and your son. I would get him into therapy if he already isnt. He has alot to deal with and a trained proffesional could help. You cant do it all. You can only provide a safe enviorment and show him over time that you are there for him and love him.
    okmommy08

    Answer by okmommy08 at 2:35 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • You need to get him and yourself into counseling immediately. You need to find a way to help yourself overcome the feelings that you are having (which are normal.) And he needs a safe place to learn that he will be ok.

    I hope you both are able to heal from this tragedy.
    balagan_imma

    Answer by balagan_imma at 2:35 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Therapy for u both. Y r u 2 answering anon?
    dancer

    Answer by dancer at 2:36 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • hugsYou need to look into getting counseling for both you and your son be patient he has been through allot at a very young age just stay strong and do all that you can to help him through this

    ExtremlyUnique

    Answer by ExtremlyUnique at 2:36 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • I agree that you need help with this. The damage the man has done to the boy can't be handled by you alone. Seek a specialist in this field. Getting him help now will help him have a future and will help you keep your own sanity.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:36 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • You BOTH need additional help. No, you're not going to be able to do this on your own but that is NOT saying you are failing! Not having a professional therapist helping you with this would be like telling you to do open heart surgery on your grandfather when you have no training!

    Call your doctor. If you don't have insurance, call 211. That is a nationwide hotline that will connect you to the social services you need, in your area.

    You NEED help. You are capable in spirit... you just lack the training and skills needed here and that is NOT a crime or a failing on your part.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 2:37 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

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