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10 Bumps

Random...tell me ur funny joke or quote.. this is mine for the day...

SHAMPOO WARNING: I figured out why I've gained weight. The shampoo I use in the shower that runs down my body says, "for extra volume and body." Going to start using Dawn dish washing soap. It says, "dissolves fat that is otherwise difficult to remove."


Asked by Dani3lla at 4:49 PM on Mar. 1, 2011 in Just for Fun

Level 17 (3,323 Credits)
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Answers (18)
  • Sorry my son got a hold of my phone and pushed send before I could finish! :) LOL! Whats the difference between a fag and a fridge? The fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out! :) If thats too much just let me know I'm sorry!

    Answer by MomofSteel at 5:12 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Your momma is soooo old that when she farts dust comes out.

    Answer by ria7 at 4:51 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things :)

    Answer by at 4:53 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Ain't my pig, ain't my farm!

    Answer by Onmyown2727 at 5:02 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • love urs btw OP sidesplittinglaughter


    Answer by san78 at 5:10 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • A new Priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the Monsignor how he had done.

    The Monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."

    So next Sunday he took the Monsignor's advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.

    Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:

    1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
    2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
    3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.
    4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
    5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
    6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C..
    7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook

    Answer by tasches at 5:18 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • What's the difference between a golfer and a bungee jumper?

    The golfer goes Whack! "Dang!" and the bungee jumper goes, "Dang!" Whack!

    Answer by Blue_Spiral at 5:18 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • 8) David slew Goliath; he did not kick the shit out of him..
    9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
    10) We do not refer to the cross as the 'Big T.'
    11) When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "Take this and eat it for this is my body." He did not say, "Eat me."
    12) The Virgin Mary is not called 'Mary with the Cherry'.
    13) The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
    14) Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.

    Answer by tasches at 5:18 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • A man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I
    have to talk to you about it."

    The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?"

    The man replied, "My wife is poisoning me."

    The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, "How can that be?"

    The man then pleads, "I'm telling you, I'm certain she's poisoning me, what
    should I do?"

    The Rabbi then offers, "Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I'll see what I
    can find out and I'll let you know."

    A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, "Well, I spoke to your wife.
    I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?"

    The man said yes and the Rabbi replied, "Take the poison."

    Answer by vicesix at 5:31 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • lmao!!! I just saw this on fb today and it cracked me up!

    Answer by MooNFaeRie30 at 5:39 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

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