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2 Bumps

4 yr. old and weekend at Grandparents

I am needing help with understanding how to best approach this situation with grandparents. my DH and I are not very trusting of his parents, due to recent lies and the family feud situation. They agreed to follow our rules and requests, so we trusted them to have a weekend visit alone with DD which we normally do not allow bc of trust and boundary issues with them.

 Well our DD was sharing stories about the visit with her grandparents and we asked if her Aunt was over ( whom has caused the family feud among us). DD said yes and She spent the night . Auntie slept in great grandmas bedroom and I slept with in grandpa and ma's room with them. Then DH proceeded to tell me that grandma said it was a secret and not to tell mom about their secret.

I told my DH and he called his family and according to him its not true. I just don't see why DD would lie about this story she has nothing to gain. So now he is upset with me for still being skeptical about the situation.

Has anyone else dealt with similiar situations and would a 4yr old lie about such a simple thing like who was over for the weekend?

Answer Question
 
Aries46845

Asked by Aries46845 at 7:01 PM on Mar. 1, 2011 in Relationships

Level 15 (2,091 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I would believe your daughter. And as long as she has fun it shouldn't matter who else was there.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:04 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Trust your instinct but keep in mind that children also leave out alot and sometimes their perception of what happened isn't always accurate. I'd speak to the in-laws myself if I were really concerned.

    skittles1108

    Answer by skittles1108 at 7:23 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • BC DD is not supposed to be around her Auntie who started this horrible family feud. Since we are not all on good terms we requested to have Auntie not be around our DD when we are not present. But the story we are getting from our DD is that Auntie spent the whole weekend at the house hanging out with our DD after we asked her grandparents to respect our boundaries.
    Aries46845

    Comment by Aries46845 (original poster) at 7:23 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • If you aren't very trusting of them, I wouldn't allow overnight stays in the first place.

    Grandparents tend to lean on the side of they are more mature and haved lived longer so what they feel is good parenting may not be what you see as good parenting.

    I would limit it to day visits but along with PP, if she had a good time, why does it matter?
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 7:24 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Ahhhhh..... well, I would believe her and limit the overnights over there.
    elizabr

    Answer by elizabr at 7:26 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • I would be outraged.  Not only did they break the agreement you guys had, they then told your child to lie to you.  Why would your daughter say that?  And hub can be mad all he wants to, how could she make that part up? 

    MrsHouston47302

    Answer by MrsHouston47302 at 7:27 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • The only other thing is to remember that as a mother of an almost 4 year old, she has an amazing brain that is prone to fantasy and confusing one weekend with another.
    Jademom07

    Answer by Jademom07 at 7:30 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • I dont think a 4 year old is capable of such detailed lies
    Trust your daughter and her father should too
    I probably would stop all sleep overs and would not let her go over there unless I was present untill this can be revaluated
    21lisa72

    Answer by 21lisa72 at 8:27 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

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