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4 Bumps

If your husband texted you that he was picking up his clothes and moving out-

would you beg him to stay? I just found out that he got another ticket and has been not telling me about money he's gotten from an injury. He has gone to two therapy sessions for his issues. So when I confronted him today he starts saying he's depressed, can't take much more from me and that he'll pick up his clothes on the weekend. Ok... that was a shock. He won't call me but when I texted him "so I this is it" he wrote back saying "wow, I thought you cared more."

so is he looking for me to beg him to come home or is he just trying to get out of this marriage?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:47 PM on Mar. 1, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Maybe both, he sounds like he is manipulating you. First he tells you he is leaving, then he acts shocked saying "I thought you cared more". Maybe he is playing victim to take some of the guilt off his shoulders.

    I would day this;

    "I am sad & terrified about your choice to leave, but i am not going to crawl on the floor to beg you to stay. That is not my style. Why don't we just discuss this further & make sure it's what you really want before making any rash decisions"
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 7:54 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • I can't interpret for him. His actions are consistant with someone who is clinically depressed though. It's really up to you. How badly do you want to save your marriage? If you want it a line of communication better get opened really quick before the door slams. I have an ex daughter in law who constantly told my son I'm leaving, or I want a divorce so he would chase her. He finally told her you say it or do it again adn I will give you what you say you want. A month later she did. His divorce was final 4 months later. For the first month she kept texting and emailing "Im sorry, I didn't mean it, I just wanted to see how much you care" She finally said it to me adn I told her flat out.. High School games are a dangerous game to play in a marriage. Talk to him. It sound like he needs to see a Dr.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 7:56 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • To me it sounds like he is fishing around to get you to beg him to stay. I'd let him know that you are upset, but I definitely wouldn't beg if he didn't want to stay.
    lovingmy4babies

    Answer by lovingmy4babies at 7:56 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • First I would consult and attorney to make sure I got my share of all money etc. Then I would let my lawyer talk with his lawyer.
    Keksie

    Answer by Keksie at 7:59 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • He sounds like someone who is depressed and wants/needs/has tried to talk to someone but has not been sucessful cause he is afraid/embarrassed to talk about his issues or does not think anyone cares to listen to him, so he decides to tell you he will leave, with hopes you will try and stop him and maybe this is the way he can open about the issues that are bothering him

    virginiamama71

    Answer by virginiamama71 at 8:04 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • If hes getting a settlement- half is yours.
    if my husband said he wants to go- id help him pack. Ive always been a firm believer- if you think you can find something better- dont hesitate.
    pinkcicle709

    Answer by pinkcicle709 at 8:05 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Maybe both but the way I am, I'd let him hit the wind. If you have been good to him, once his money runs out he will be back. , but I would not be there. He odvisiouly has some issues about what love is.
    sondaughter312

    Answer by sondaughter312 at 8:08 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • He sounds like a manipulator and try hard to be very strong and take care of you and your child/children. He is supposes to be a man and should not treat you that way and should not have any reason to hide things for you. My ? would be what else is he hiding????
    Good luck. I am sorry for your troubles.
    21lisa72

    Answer by 21lisa72 at 8:10 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • probably the first in my book. Depression can do some weird things to you, but is this sort of game playing typical for him?
    he sounds like my ex, game playing galore! when we finally did part ways his big complaint was that I must not have cared that much because I never got Jealous.
    I think he means when he asked me to come to his acting class so apparently I could witness the day they learned to stage kiss.
    so no, that did not make me jealous.

    as for myself, if I found out that my DH was being dishonest about things like this I would probably have to think a lot about whether or not I wanted to be with him. at best, maybe I would ask him if he wanted to go for counseling, but even then I'd have a time frame in mind of how long I wanted to work on things with him before making a decision.
    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 8:31 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Sounds like he's looking for you to make a big deal out of it to make him feel better about himself.

    Though on the other hand he could be hoping you won't be very upset by it so he can look at it as he tried and not his fault.

    Either way he seems like an emotional wreck and not only needs help but if the marriage was to continue I'd say he needs counseling and to grow the hell up.
    KlieneMutter

    Answer by KlieneMutter at 8:40 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

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