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Some much needed verification of how I feel....

My boyfriend and I get every other weekend to ourselves with out my DD as she goes with her father. This weekend he made all these plans, like going to his friends friday, shopping saturday (Ikea, homegoods and KOP...for himself), a night out saturday and nothing much sunday.... he asked if all was good with me and I said I would like to do something that doesnt include me tagging along watching him spend money on his place (seems like thats what we do every weekend that I dont have DD)... he always gets kinda mad even though he wont admit it.... Am I wrong for not wanting to do this EVERY weekend without my dd... like seriously, going to look at curtains and mirrors and furnishings for someone elses place gets a littttttlllleeee boring after a while. All he keeps saying is oh i cant wait we are going to have a blast this weekend, I kinda of shot that down and said welll actually its not ultimately about ME AND YOU its about YOU.... How do I make him understand that I dont mind going with him but its not fun to do it all the time.... I asked him to go to the fish place an hour away from my house and he dilly dallied and guess what, we didnt go.... the first time i;ve actually wanted to go somewhere because I had some extra cash in my pocket... ( he makes 80,000 a year so money is nothing to him)... But my pocket isnt so wealthy....

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:41 PM on Mar. 1, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • OP Here: He also took off friday so we could spend the day together, just recieved a text that we should skip sleep over on thursday night and just meet up friday night... alll because I didnt want to go to all these home furnishing places.... UGHHHH

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 9:43 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • He sounds very selfish. I would not think it is the type of relationship you would want to continue. He does not appear from what you are saying to be a likely stepfather. Maybe you need to start looking elsewhere for your needs to be filled.

    Answer by tootoobusy at 9:44 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Stop letting him make all the plans. Make some of your own and when he dilly dallies around, leave without him.

    Stop planning your life and entertainment around what he wants to do. By not saying and doing something different than what he wants, you are only enabling him to think only of himself.

    Answer by Jademom07 at 9:44 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Sounds like you don't have much say. Instead of trailing along behind him why don't you make some plans of your own? I would be bored stiff doing that, especially all the time.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:45 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Couple of red flags if you ask me. One, it's very selfish of him to indulge himself every time with no regard to what you'd like to do. Two, spending and spending as a way of "entertainment" is a dangerous cycle to be in. If he continues, I'd really consider what's going on here. Also, tell him you'd like to take a hike, go ski, ice skate and have lunch or dinner with a bottle of wine and a movie or whatever YOU want to do. If he just cannot enjoy things your way, forget it. Can't be one sided all the time.

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 9:48 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Leave. You'll be glad u did. U deserve to be happy. How long have ya'll been together. I could see how it might be fun if ya'll were buying stuff for a new place together. But he needs to make some room in his life for what you want and need also.

    Answer by iluvmybabe at 9:48 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Don't go anywhere with him until he realizes that you deserve to make some date choices too!!

    Answer by momavanessa at 9:49 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Also the skipping the sleep over would have pissed me off. Rude.

    Answer by iluvmybabe at 9:50 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • LOL looks as if this weekend is already ruined before it even started... And he said I am alll wrong. I tried to explain that I would like to do something that is fun for both and is quality time together.... im just getting bullied... Thanks for helpin ladies. Now I can feel confident in my argument...

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 10:33 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

  • Honestly, I would find something else to do. Let him hunt you down, visit friends, see a movie or get a pedi! Don't center your life around a man that is doing nothing for you! Really, get out and "get a life". He may or may not change, so don't sit around and wait for him to. You deserve to be respected.

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 10:52 PM on Mar. 1, 2011

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