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was i betrayed??

yesterday afternoon my sister caught my husband smoking a cigar while driving, and until yesterday I was under the impression he quit right before we got married which was in november... after a heated discussion he admitted to smoking it and that he had done it for a few months... do I have a right to feel betrayed and if so, what do we do now??? feeling very hurt, I need guidance! please! A lil hurt

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:02 PM on Jul. 8, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Aww!! I'm sorry but it sounds like he really loves you and didnt mean to betray you but he needs some time to himself to relax and unwind and maybe smoking a cig once in a while is his outlet..as long as he is not around the kids or you blowing smoke in your face i wouldn't worry about it but you should just let him and then he wont have to sneak behind your back and then maybe he will just quit on his own because it won't be so forbidden anymore!
    JTNMD711

    Answer by JTNMD711 at 9:21 PM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • There are a great many other things I would use the word betrayed with, but not on sneaking a cigar. I'd get over it.
    Teachermom01

    Answer by Teachermom01 at 10:53 PM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • I can understand where you are coming from. I kind of agree that "betrayed" might be a bit harsh, but being hurt and feeling lied to or misled - that I could see. I would probably sit him down and talk things through with him. Let him know how this makes you feel. If he refuses to quit, as long as he is not smoking around the family and that he takes it outside it's better than nothing. If he wants to quit and can't, perhaps he can find support somewhere or find out what causes him to want to smoke and see about alternative activities. Good luck.
    tagonoo

    Answer by tagonoo at 11:21 PM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • I don't think you should feel "betrayed", but at the same time I don't think he should lie to you. I think that having a cigar every once in a while is a pretty mild way for a guy to kick back and relax... and it's WAY better than smoking weed or cigarettes. Talk to him about some kind of compromise... I know you don't want him to do it AT ALL, but if you agree to compromise he won't have to hide it from you anymore.
    crazysocks830

    Answer by crazysocks830 at 11:42 PM on Jul. 8, 2008

  • I really feel like he didn't betray u.This is betray,my husband use to have sex with other women in my house in my bed while I'm at work & the kids r at school.Then when 1 of his women makes him made he takes it out on me.He would beat on me & tell me that I am cheatin on him.
    Mrs.Lakeisha

    Answer by Mrs.Lakeisha at 2:57 PM on Jul. 10, 2008

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