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How do you deal with family drama?? Esp when you're very close to your family, but they live far away...

It's a complicated, long story, but for starters I come from a Latin family and there's eight of us (my parents, then three boys/three girls). I'm the second eldest, but eldest girl- which automatically put my role in the family as caretaker...my parents both always worked full time so I helped the most with the other children, which instantly created very strong intense bonds.

Now I'm 24, have moved out of my house and across the country since I was 18. I'm still very close to my family, speak to several of them weekly, if not daily even though I only go home once a year (they live in MA, I live in CA).

BUT, lately there has been a lot of drama, like an excessive amount...there's problems with my older brother and his fiance, my sister and her husband, and other nonmarital related issues with the younger ones. My problem is, my parents only involve me when they see fit- if they need my help they ask for it, but if they don't want to include me and I try to give them my opinion, they shut me down. It's VERY hard and I stil get quite worked up sometimes, because I'm close to my siblings and care about what's going on.

My SO thinks I need to distance myself from them, that I shouldn't talk to them so often and be involved in the "drama". The problem is, I don't really know how to do that. Sure there are times where we don't all talk so often, but to not talk about their lives- how is that possible?

ANY advice would be great, thanks!!

 
lexi8622

Asked by lexi8622 at 12:13 AM on Mar. 2, 2011 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,640 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (3)
  • YOUR FIANCE IS RIGHT.
    LIVE YOUR LIFE.
    Let your siblings live their life, speak with your whole extended family, but try not to live through them.
    You should have your own family now, don't push your man away.
    lillyblue111

    Answer by lillyblue111 at 10:15 AM on Mar. 4, 2011

  • If your parents don't like to include you in their problems, then let them be. If you talk to your siblings on a regular basis, if they ask for your opinion, by all means tell them what you think. Are they aware that your parents don't like to include you in their problems? Family is family no matter what happens. You can always tell your parents that you do care what goes on, and that you would like to be included in what goes on. I hope this helps.
    amessageofhope

    Answer by amessageofhope at 12:29 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • It's not that they never include me- basically the problems arise when I strongly disagree with how they are handling certain situations concerning my siblings...my WHOLE extended family will agree with me, but i'm the only one who has the guts to say anything (some say that's disrespectful). Anyway I have told my parents how I feel, how it's unfair to sometimes use me for all the info/advice they need, but other times don't want to hear anything..
    lexi8622

    Comment by lexi8622 (original poster) at 12:35 AM on Mar. 2, 2011