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4 Bumps

Swhat do u think is going on here...?

So here's the skinny

My now recent ex went to foster care when he was two, got out when he was 9, lived with his mom 2 years and then she passed. He just contacted the county records dept and is having all records of his past maile to him.  This effects him deeply. 

On friday he works a 4p-1a shift and doesn't come home until 5am, where was he, hanging out with his loser friend.

Saturday he watched his son, sunday he didn't show and monday he didn't show so I could at least attend class, I am in my last semester. Tuesday no show, missed even more classes. So today I don't expect any different.  So I just e-mailed my teacher vaguley explaining this so I could go to class on friday.

Well he doesn't answer his phone, and neither will his friend.  I guess my dad happened to see him come in the house and take some stuff and leave with his friend.

He said "Being with my friend right now is more important to me." last I heard from him.  So basically he is trying very hard to not help with his son, and he is typically a Great and I mean fantastic father. 

I went to his job he said he'd meet to talk and he never showed I waithed like 20 minutes.

idk

I dont make barely any momey, I'm about to have a 3 day notice if he doesnt pay rent.  I am now looking for child care for in the early mornings when I don't have help.  I also est monthly child support on the state calc.  365 bucks a month if I don't need child care and 765 bucks a month if I end up needing it,  I am calling the attorney tomorrow and filingfor custody and support asap/  I know I will have at least this month rent paid becaise he just left friday. after that I am on my own.

am i jumping the gun, is he just emotional because of this mom thing
????? insight please

this sucks

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:55 AM on Mar. 2, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • So, is he your ex because of how he's acting? Things have definitely ended?

    It sounds like he's having a hard time dealing with all of this stuff with mom but at the same time, it sounds like he could be using it as a crutch. Don't let him. Do what you need to do and then make yourself available to him after you and your child are taken care of-but only if he makes himself to you. He'll need to work through all this stuff to continue being a good father, but he shouldn't be doing it at YOUR expense. Its not YOUR fault he had a rough childhood.

    GL!
    metalhealthmom

    Answer by metalhealthmom at 8:37 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • You said he is an ex? But he still pays rent? Where you live?
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 6:04 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • i would hunt his ass down! make him listen to you..ask him "do you want your child to end up in the system like you..." tell him that you would have a hard time making it on your own and you need his help. maybe that would catch his attention. if he doesnt listen to that then i would say its time to get away from him. find family or someone to care for your child while you get shit situated. goodluck
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 8:21 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • No, there's no excuse. He just took off on you and his child, screwed you over with school, and pretty much abandoned you without caring you could be put out on the street.. no excuse. What a jerk, and then to hide like that.. how awful I'm sorry you're going through this.
    Ashes0813

    Answer by Ashes0813 at 7:59 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • Nothing should be more important than his child. LOSER
    tammysgray

    Answer by tammysgray at 9:27 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • I think you are doing the right thing. You need to look out for your son. He's already said that being with his friend is more important to him. Sorry he's in a bad place right now, but he's the adult and needs to own up to his responsibilities, and if he won't do so, take the steps you need to so that he does.


    My dad did the same thing, decided that he could pick and choose as to when he was going to act responsively towards my then minor brother. he felt that it was more important to concentrate on himself since he was having such difficult time.
    until a judge made it clear to him that being responsible for a child was not something you do when you feel like it.
    Your ex is not the child here, so you don't need to baby him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:43 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • Make sure you go to the friend of the court asap cause things go slowly sometimes. Good luck to you!
    teritaru

    Answer by teritaru at 6:39 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

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