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Is it really true that all relationships/marriage at one time or another have its problems? my s/o and i have been together for five years and we've had some rocky times but we've always stayed together. i just sometimes feel like we're the only couple that has problems. this friday we are starting our first session of couples counseling and i'm looking forward to it. any thoughts or similiar situations?

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aprilrb81

Asked by aprilrb81 at 8:18 AM on Mar. 2, 2011 in Relationships

Level 6 (135 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • Any couple that has stayed together, has had to forgive each other at least once.
    If people would consider that their partners are people just like them, with thoughts and feelings just like them, alot of this childishness wouldn't exist.
    jewjewbee

    Answer by jewjewbee at 8:20 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • All marriages eventually go through rocky times. You dont see the problems in others because we often dont show those to people. Its all at home and behind closed doors. My husband and I have been together since 2003, married in 2006 and I can tell you we have our share of issues. We just work through them and have a commitment to each other. I always say neither one of us is leaving this marriage unless its in a body bag. He laughs and says thats right. With that mind set we know we have to work it out because were together til we die.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 8:22 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • Your not the only one. Many ppl just don't want everyone to know that they have problems and they sugar coat things to make their life look great. I haven't met one couple that didn't have issues. I lived nextdoor to the most wonderful couple for 12 years (when I was younger) They never fought and always looked happy. I found out a couple years ago, that the husband had a double life and a whole other family in another state that he traveled to often for work. That was mind blowing. So no worries we all have issues and your doing a great thing by taking that step to go to therapy.
    MelissaAnn224

    Answer by MelissaAnn224 at 8:23 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • nope your not alone and i think it only makes you stonger as a couple in the long run
    devinalexis

    Answer by devinalexis at 8:26 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • my husband and i have had our share of rough patches. many couples would not have survived what we went through, but we're still going strong. good luck on the counseling! thats a great step.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 8:32 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • I have an excellent marriage. My dh and I love each other very much, and, just as important, we like each other a lot, too. We've been married 18 1/2 yrs now. And yes, we have had rocky times. A couple that never disagrees, never has to work towards a compromise, is a couple that has grown so apart (or has one partner completely under the thumb of the other one), that they are just going through the motions or are living separate lives.

    Any marriage of any length will have it's problems - the trick is how do you handle it? Do you say forget it, I'm done, or do you say I'm not giving up on us, we're going to work it out? Of course, if you do the 2nd one, then you have to actually do something to fix it, but couples counseling is a great place to start!

    cont
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:44 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • cont

    There is a really good movie from about 10 yrs ago that talks about this sort of thing. There's a lot of language, and, I have to be honest, for a lot of the movie I was mad (I thought I was renting a romance, and for a lot of the movie, it looks like the couple is getting a divorce) - but it has a very good ending, and it's a VERY good, and, while the details of each marriage (and their problems) are going to be different, I think the basic premise is one that every couple that's been married for any length of time can relate to. The premise is "Can a marriage survive being married?"

    The movie is called "The Story of Us" and it stars Michelle Pfeiffer and Bruce Willis.
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:49 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • all marriages go through the tough times, the real test of love is if you come out together. My SO and I had some really bad times but at the end of it we're still together and I love him.
    gutterflower585

    Answer by gutterflower585 at 8:53 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • Yes, All relationship have ups and downs and we give and take on a daily bases. But, staying in love witht the person we have chosen takes work it is not just a given. Counseling is always helpful to any relationship and who knows you may even learn some new things about each other.
    guesswho123

    Answer by guesswho123 at 9:15 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • I think that all marriages have their share of rocky moments. My hubs and I will be married 20 years (this June) and I know we have had our share of ups and downs. In MY opinion I think that communication, compromise and love are the main things that hold a marriage together. You need to be able to talk to and listen to your spouse and have those lines of communication open, you also need to be able to give and take and make compromises- it can't be 1 person's way all the time. And of course you need love.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 9:16 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

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