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My 10 yr old daughter is scarying me. Sometimes she just has absolutely no common sense! She also seems like she may be a little slow. Is it just a normal thing for a kid her age?

She has no disabilities. She has made good grades. Overall good girl, just doesn't think sometimes!

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Asked by 2flowers1m at 8:45 AM on Mar. 2, 2011 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 4 (34 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • hell my daughter 19 and has no common sense

    Answer by jodi205 at 8:47 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • Id need more information but my 10 yr old son often lacks common sense too. They are 10 and that is probably why. They just seem like they should know more, in reality they have only been on this earth a decade. Have you seem some adults out there?

    Answer by gemgem at 8:48 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • You have to teach her common sense. I know that doesn't sound right, but that's what you have to do. When our daughter was that age, I used to jokingly say that I had to help her find the front door on her way out to school. She can probably only handle one thing at a time, so when you ask her to do things, remember that. If she is always forgetting things, go over a checklist with her. I did this with our boys as well as with our daughter. Don't just expect that she will develop common sense--teach it to her along with how to be responsible.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:49 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • This is normal, and, as a pp said, you just need to help her develop some common sense. There are going to be times you're going to seriously wonder if she was taken over by pod people and had every brain cell in her head sucked out though :-)

    A lot of it is the start of puberty - at 10, whether she's developing physically where you can see a noticeable difference or not, hormonally, she's already starting to change, and yes, that does sometimes make kids a little dingy, kwim?


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:53 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • Oh, I should add - I remember when my ds was about this age when he was going though this phase where he would shower, get out of the shower, then put his dirty underwear back on.... He seemed to think that "since they didn't look dirty" they must be fine. When I found out what was going on (the laundry was a big clue lol) - I told him to go upstairs and put on clean underwear right now! He did, then for the rest of the day was squirming around, picking at his butt, etc. Come to find out - the boy put the clean underwear on all right - RIGHT OVER THE DIRTY PAIR! Drove me nuts!

    But - now he's an 18 yr old Senior in High School, gets good grades, is an Eagle Scout, the starting goalie for the Soccer team, and, while able to go to college, has chosen to go into the military (and smoked the enlistment exam), so.... They do outgrow it with time and effort :-)

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:57 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • Yall are funny!! Thanks for the advice, this is my first child so i can sure use as much help as i can get! Alot of these stories sound too familiar. Just last night i told her not to wear her pajamas more than 2 nights to go change and when she was up there get her baby sisters pjs i laid out on her bed and help her put them on. Well they came downstairs baby with a different set of pjs and my 10 yr old with the same dirty pjs she had on!! I said what did u do u were suppposed to get new pjs not ur sister! She just stared at me with a confused goofy smile. I can go on and on with similar events!

    Comment by 2flowers1m (original poster) at 9:12 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • are you sure that's what you said? my mother said the same things about me when I was a kid, told me I wasn't listening, or thought I was mixing up what she told me.

    Turned that she wasn't saying what she thought she was and it was in fact she who was reversing things! she said about the same thing, that only common sense would have told me to do what she wanted me to do, not what she SAID to do.
    but then when I started doing what I thought it should have been, that wasn't right either.

    can you give other examples? if she's 10 her hormones could be doing their thing and maybe she's going through a stage.

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 10:01 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • Ok the other day i said pick out your clothes for school before i get home from work. Normal routine is getting clothes earrings shoes socks etc.... Then laying them out together in bathroom. Well i get home check her bathroom to see if she did a good job and if they weren't wrinkled. Nothing there, so i asked her where are your clothes i told u to get. She said i picked them out. Then she showed them to me. They were still in closet, everything else in its place i said thats not getting everything ready. She said oh, i thought u meant just to pick them. Ahhh!! She was serious! Drives me nuts! Maybe i just need to list chores in order, step by step. I dont have time For that.

    Comment by 2flowers1m (original poster) at 10:18 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • sounds like what I went through with my mom. Had the same thing happen! she told me to pick out my clothes for the next day, so I did. turned out she wanted me to lie them out too.
    some people's definition of what constitutes common sense is different than others.

    no offense meant, but it sounds like you aren't making it clear to her what you want. Is her dad around? can he help her make out a list of the things she has to do? lots of people have to have charts of the things they have to do, even adults. We can all forget things here and there, even if we do them every day.
    My mom had a baby when I was about 10 too, and what you are describing all sounds very familiar.

    If she's 10, maybe she can make her own chart and you or another adult can look at it later. please don't' make it like a punishment, like I said, it's something that many people have to do, it's not a reflection on her.

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 10:28 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • So it's not just being lazy? Sometimes i think she knows what to do but she just does the bare minimum just enough to get by just so she can go outside and play. Im so confused! I mean can she really be that clueless?! She such a beautiful, caring little girl and an awesome big sister!! It's just the laziness and the lack of motivation and common sense that i just dont understand!

    Comment by 2flowers1m (original poster) at 10:40 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

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