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4 Bumps

Is anyone else's MIL like this?

she always tells me "call first" "text first" etc if we plan to come over. i have no problem doing that, i DO have manners. even though i know she's lazy and never lifts a finger so its not like shes doing anything, but that's a whole other issue.

anyway, she lives about 5 miles up the street. we only see her when its convenient for her. we've lived this close to her for about a year, and everytime she comes over, SHE JUST SHOWS UP! no phone call, text, email, telegram, what have you.

she'll come over when we've only been up for an hour, im still running around in my jammies, NO BRA ON, house/kids not up to par yet. toys strewn across the floor, dirty breakfast dishes in the sink. it's embarassing to be honest! and really annoying that i am expected to be courteous and call first but she can just show up with no notice and everything is just f*cking peachy. and then she only ends up staying for like 10 minutes (literally) and leaves.

**vent over**

anyone else have an MIL like this? i would love for her to visit frequently but atleast send a damn warning so i can have a bra on!

 
tnm786

Asked by tnm786 at 10:03 AM on Mar. 2, 2011 in Relationships

Level 43 (159,608 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • So leave her standing on the front step while you go take a shower. Nobody says you have to open the door. Or next time the Call First comes out of her mouth say "OH you mean like you always do?" Oh Oh even better, give her a kid and tell her where the breakfast food is (i.e. leave her in charge) while you go take a shower. "Oh I'm so glad you are here I haven't had a moment to myself in 3 days, give Charlie his breakfast while I hop in the shower." That works for me. Try that and let me know how it turns out.
    LoveMyDog

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 10:15 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • I thank the heavens that my MIL lives clear across the country from us. She can't drop by unless she books a flight =D
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 10:05 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • No, Mine used to do that though! She would just walk in mind you anytime she wanted to. It got seriously on my nerves and my husband told her to call first or atleast knock! She got mad and said she wouldnt come into the house then ever again. I was like really>? Thats her solution>? No one told her she could never come in again lol. But whatever.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 10:05 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • start closing your curtains and keep the car in the garage. don't answer the door. if you suspect she may be on her way over, go somewhere. you are the one allowing her to keep up this behavior.
    when it no longer works for her, she'll change her habits accordingly.
    jewjewbee

    Answer by jewjewbee at 10:19 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • witchMy mil is nice thank god. My sisters mil is evil, she gives the word evil a new meaning.

    sta517

    Answer by sta517 at 10:12 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • Honey, if you won't tell her then nothing is going to change. But you knew that. She is very sensitive and might cry huh? Let me know when your daughters get to be about 11 years old. They should have you wrapped around their little fingures if a few tears keeps you in silence. I hope you have boys.

    LoveMyDog

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 2:55 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • I agree with Lovemydog. Hand her a kid and ask her to help since it's so great that she stopped by just when you were trying to figure out how to get it all done! :-)
    teritaru

    Answer by teritaru at 6:24 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • OK, forgive me but I'm going to state the obvious. Have you actually TOLD her that you want her to give you a heads up before coming over? regardless of what she has told you to do at her place, if you haven't told her that you want her to call first, then she probably thinks you're fine with it.

    have you ever actually told her that it's OK that she comes over like that?

    Have a talk with her and tell her that you want her to call. Had something like this with my SIL. Scared her to death one day when I walked up behind her in the kitchen, she didn't realize I'd come into the house. I'd called her name, but I guess she'd had the music on.

    why did I just walk in the house? because if I rang the door bell her husband would yell at me for it, it would get the dogs excited.
    He told me flat out to just come in!
    what has your husband told her? I wouldn't be surprised if he told her it was just fine!

    ItsMe89

    Answer by ItsMe89 at 10:43 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • Many MIL that I know are like that.
    Try not to take it personal, and be happy, focus on your relationship with your man.
    We all vent every now and then, but for your own good try not to show you're upset by her actions.
    lillyblue111

    Answer by lillyblue111 at 10:45 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • my husband doesn't care, of course, what man would? ive brought it up to him.. politely.. i was like "wow, im glad she visited and all but i dont even have my bra on!" and he said "its fine, she doesn't care" so obviously, he doesnt get it. and no, i will never tell her because she's very sensitive & would probably cry no matter how calmy i approached the subject. it would start some huge battle between dh, mil and i. so i will just have to suck it up. we're moving soon anyway about 25 miles away, so she'll have to call first so she knows were home instead of making that drive empty-handed. thanks for listening to my vent ladies.
    tnm786

    Comment by tnm786 (original poster) at 12:31 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

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