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What drives a woman to have an affair?

I realize it can be many different things, but for anyone that has had one, I just wonder what the key reason was for them as to why they did it? And did you do it again or was it a one time thing?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:03 AM on Mar. 2, 2011 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (25)
  • Wanting to feel loved.
    being happy with the other person
    feeling alive
    it's an ego boost and raises self esteem
    and the sex is great.

    sometimes when your that beat down inside yourself, just knowing someone sees you like that, can do wonders. It takes away all the gray clouds in your life. I know it did for me.

    Working on getting a divorce now. Not for the OM but for myself. I don't regret it. He saved me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:32 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • it went on for a year
    i told dh often what i was missing
    he never listened
    it was emotional for me
    dh and i worked through it
    we are stronger as a couple now

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:04 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • margee has clearly never lived with a control freak

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:05 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • dh not giving her enough attention and appreciation. The number one reason for affairs (based on a real study) is not getting EMOTIONAL needs met.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:06 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • i would never have an affair but i totally understand how they can happen. it's emotional and if someone else makes you feel good about yourself than that is quite a great temptation. for me, if things are not right with the marriage, i'll end it and then move on. but again, it's such an easy thing to have happen if you are lonely or unhappy.

    Answer by juliness at 11:10 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • MarGee- Just because you were lucky enough to have fell into a relationship that is stable, supportive, safe and secure doesn't mean that everyone is that lucky. Take a look outside your own little bubble and try to see things from a perspective of a woman that has been in a long term relationship where things were great- but then gradually over time affection waned, resentment grew and neither one of knew what the problem was. It happens. Stop being judgmental and since the post clearly was directed at women who HAVE had an affair you are out of line putting in your two cents just to feel like you are a better person.

    Answer by meandrphoto at 11:12 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • MarGee, the title wasn't what excuses are there to have an affair. Affairs happen for many reasons. No one was condoning anything. Just asking for reasons. No need to get so uppity.

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 11:44 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • In my opinion I think that the reason women have affairs is because her DH is not giving her any or very little attention. Also it could be because the wife doesn't feel appreciated for what she does for the kids and the family. Also it could be because he is verbally, or emotionally abusive and makes her feel like she doesn't matter to him.

    Answer by Mom0413 at 12:28 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • or abuser

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:06 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • I cheated because my ex beat the hell out of me and that was my way of getting revenge, I knew that would hurt him the most. Not proud of it but at the time it made sense

    Answer by June_Mama09 at 11:13 AM on Mar. 2, 2011