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Do you believe I did the right thing?

My new friend of mine and I have a total of 6 kids together. LOL-4 of them being mine.
We are neighbors, I adore her kids but sometimes they get out of hand, and just like sometimes my kids get out of hand. Not playing the blame game here at all.

We do have diffrent views on things, but we pretty much get along. I decided after thinking and a couple of incidents they should not hang anymore-meaning the kids.
Her kids have thrown objects at one another-not safe ones, they have been very disrespectful when we visited her asking us to leave, and mouthy back at my friend.

Lately my kids have been getting really mouthy, talking back to me, and telling me no. Hello, I am not having it.

So I told her the kids need to take a break, she said she don't know what she will tell her kids because they might think I don't like them. I said tell them the truth, I do like them but not the behaivor, nor the way my kids behaivor has been.

Answer Question
 
KFree907

Asked by KFree907 at 11:24 AM on Mar. 2, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 20 (8,947 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I told my friend the absolute same thing. In fact, two of her boys are banned from my home and she completely understands why. I'm glad you had the ability to stand up for yourself.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 11:26 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • That is exactly what I tell any child who comes into my home and behaves disrespectfully- Same goes for an adult. If you can not behave, you need to leave. That doesn't mean I do not like you, but I will not tolerate bad behavior.
    ObbyDobbie

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 11:26 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • Sounds reasonable to me...it's better than the try to make excuses plan.
    RentaMom

    Answer by RentaMom at 11:27 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • No not at all, if they aren't great kids then you should limit how much they see each other. I wouldn't say cut them off totally but just not as much. Good call.
    choco_mom

    Answer by choco_mom at 11:27 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • yeah , you did the right thing , have no guilt or regrets.
    letstalk747

    Answer by letstalk747 at 11:27 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • That sounds reasonable to me, I wouldn't allow that kind of behavior from my own kids, I sure won't allow it from someone elses
    Zakysmommy

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 11:28 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • I have had the same situation. We have two sets of friends we love and adore, but their parenting styles are extremely permissive in comparison to ours. Their children always, always, always cause a problem with my son who is NOT an angel, but he is a really good kid, and a rule follower. These children have put holes in our walls, have torn bedrooms apart, use language we don't allow...the list goes on and on. We think the one boy is going to be behind bars someday, which is sad because he seems to be by nature a really nice kid.

    Bad, ineffective parenting has ruined many a friendship, I am afraid. We don't allow our son to go to their house alone, and visits are becoming far and few. It is not something you can sit down and discuss, they will be offended anyway you spin it. The only thing you can do I have found is plan adult dinners out, and if you are together, have a good long talk with your own children beforehand.
    spottedpony

    Answer by spottedpony at 11:33 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • I understand that. Well, I may end up in the same boat that you are in now. I've been friends with a couple for over 3 years now. They have 3 kids - ages 15, 9, and 6. They throw fits, back talk, rough house with each other, disrespect each other and their parents and other adults, put other adults against each other by going from one to the other asking to do something hoping that one will say yes and take the blame from the other. I have a 4 month old dd who will be around them because the mom is my babysitter, and all 3 of her kids are home schooled. I can only hope that the values you instill in your children at home can be followed up on in the presence of other children and that you can positively influence their behavior by expecting better behavior of your child and their children in their presence.
    ishie4ever

    Answer by ishie4ever at 11:54 AM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • Sometimes its just chemistry-no blame-just a certain group brings out the worst in each other, rather than the best-
    soyousay

    Answer by soyousay at 12:44 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

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