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How do I get him to understand?

This kind of relates to my other question. I still live at home with my folks for the time being. My 4 year old daughter is completely attached to her pappy. However, he tends to say things to her that I do not agree with whatsoever and I don't think he fully understands the impact those things have on a young mind like hers. For instance, he constantly talks about how it's better to be the bully than the bull-ee. I disagree with that completely. Both extremes of the spectrum are unhealthy and I would like her to be somewhere in the middle like I tended to be in high school. Or he tells her it's ok to cheat as long as she wins and doesn't get caught and just things like that. How do I get him to understand??

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iluvmm09

Asked by iluvmm09 at 1:04 PM on Mar. 2, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 15 (2,277 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Tell him you are not teaching her that and would appreciate it if he would stop....

    It is his home so your stuck
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 1:07 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • Just tell him you know maybe he finds it funny but she is taking him seriously. My uncle does this sort of thing but he gets a laugh out of it. I had to tell him it isnt funny. They think youre serious and I dont want them to go to school and repeat some of what you are telling them.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 1:08 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • I know...I'm never disrespectful when it comes to things like that because they are going out of their way to help me and I don't want to seem unappreciative.
    iluvmm09

    Comment by iluvmm09 (original poster) at 1:08 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • LOL.... too funny. thats a papa. just tell him you'd rather her be independant, and strong, rather than hateful, and hurtful to others.
    let DD know that papa is just teasing her..... he's old and grumpy, ( lol) that being ugly and mean to others is not gonna give her friends to play with.
    kkbird

    Answer by kkbird at 1:09 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • My dad was this way with my oldest for a while and I finally broke down and said something to him. I had a private talk with him about it not being a good influence on my son when he would speak that way or joke that way. I told him yes, he might find it funny and unharmful to others, but if my son were to go to his teacher or anyone else for that matter and say/ repeat words and/or actions his Pa did that would not be good for anyone involved. I then asked my dad to sit down with my son with me there as well and to explain to my son that he was just being playful and joking around but that doesn't mean it's okay to repeat those words or actions at school or to anyone else period. After explaining this to my son, my son and my dad found other ways to joke and be funny that wouldn't effect my son in a negative manner at all or impact is esteem at all.
    shortmommy23

    Answer by shortmommy23 at 1:16 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • It is hard to teach an old dog new tricks, so you are better off explain to your 4 year old that papa is not always right and correct whatever he says you don't agree with.
    older

    Answer by older at 1:18 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • I would just politely ask him to stop teaching her things like that so she doesn't get in trouble when she goes to school.
    seecb

    Answer by seecb at 1:38 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

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