Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

2 Bumps

Why do I feel so guilty saying no?

Seriously, I feel like crap every time I have to say no to a birthday party invitation for kids in my daughters' classes (not like BFF's, just random school friends). We just can't go to all of them! It seems like there's one almost every week. But I feel soooo bad saying no, like it's going to really hurt the kid's or parent's feelings.
Anyone else? Or anyone have any advice on how to stop feeling so guilty about it?

 
vicesix

Asked by vicesix at 1:58 PM on Mar. 2, 2011 in General Parenting

Level 37 (89,885 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I know what you mean. I had to tell a little girl that we can't go to her party this coming weekend and she was so disappointed =( But she isn't one of my daughters best friends, just a girl from class, and she is a nice kid.....but it's also my daughter's b-day coming up and we already made plans to go somewhere. I still felt bad, not for us or my daughter, but for the other girl.
    slw123

    Answer by slw123 at 5:59 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • I know what you mean....just put it out of your mind, realize that it is okay to say no, and that even if someone's feelings are hurt, you are not responsible for their feelings....you are just doing what you need to do, with no malice involved.
    Anna92464

    Answer by Anna92464 at 2:01 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • Probably because you could probably make it to all of them but opt not to for your reasons.
    older

    Answer by older at 2:00 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • I look at tit this way. the parent sent the invite to every kid/girl/boy in the class out of politeness. So when my son comes home with an invite I ask him. I have an invitation to _____ party. Do you play with ____? Every day or just sometimes. If the answers I get are kind of indifferent then I give the party a miss.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 2:01 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • I know what you mean. I have no problem saying "sorry we can't make it". But to my son I feel bad sometimes. He gets it now that we just don't go to random classmates parties because we really don't know them. He understands now. Once he gets older and is actually friends with these kids then fine but not now. Oh and the last invite said "Ps: He wears a size 8 pants, 13 shoes and so and so". WTH who does that? LOL
    mamaada

    Answer by mamaada at 2:04 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • Probably because you know how it feels to have a low turn out at a bday party or when someone you hoped would come doesnt.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 2:05 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • I don't think you feel bad about the party so much as dissapointing someone. That's totally normal. I get like that as well. It's so much work to attend and event, that's why I don't host them either! But I do try to make sure I make it to some events though, I make sure they are the people that would show up for mine, because I do appreciate being invited.
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 2:09 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • I don't think the invitee (child) feels bad if a child they are not close friends with can't make it. The mom is the one sending the invites to be fair. The kids is just happy to have a party! Don't feel bed. :0)
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 4:23 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • wow. your heart is bigger than I thought.
    maybe just tell yourself with each invitation that all kids have to be invited from school? I think with school, most moms assume only a handful will show up anyway. And our classes have always required invitations to include everyone.
    jewjewbee

    Answer by jewjewbee at 4:45 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • vicesix, will you come to MY party? lol
    Musicmom80

    Answer by Musicmom80 at 6:38 PM on Mar. 2, 2011