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Do you still visit lost loved ones graves?

My friend died in eary February and I have been visiting his grave every weekend. My mom says I will eventually stop going altogether. I think she says this because she only visited her brother's grave once.

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Asked by LuckyStarr28 at 5:05 PM on Mar. 2, 2011 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 6 (144 Credits)
Answers (22)
  • I visit their graves several times a year.

    Answer by tiddliwinks at 5:06 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • Only on Memorial Day.

    Answer by MamaK88 at 5:07 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • I go to my mom's on Mother's Day and that's about it. I don't like to go.

    However, if my best friend died, I would probably go every weekend. I mean, that's her final resting place, that's where she is. I'd probably just stop by, with or without flowers and make sure everything looked neat around it and head on our. I'm not big on praying and I don't know what I believe about the afterlife, but it would be nice to be close to her.

    Answer by metalhealthmom at 5:08 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • I would go more often to my grandparents graves but its an hour trip. I try to go at least once a year. I would go more often if it were closer. My mother's cremated remains are in my home. My father is buried in another state, far away. I have never been there to see it. I didn't really know him all that well so I really have no desire to go there. About once a year I also go to the cemetery where a good friend of my grandma's is buried. It's someone that was special to me growing up. She had no children so I know there is nobody else that goes to her grave but me.

    Answer by lisa89j at 5:12 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • I try to go on fathers day to my dads grave but its sad I never met him he passed before I was born

    Answer by ms.keisha17 at 5:13 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • i would like to go to my grandparents graves that are actually buried since the rest don't have grave sites but they're all in southern california. on the other hand i was in oregon and now i'm in washington so it makes if very very hard to go there. also its still painful for me with their deaths since a couple of them passed while i was a teen and my parents refused to let me go to their funerals.

    Answer by macks_mommy at 5:21 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • I don't go because I don't find any personal peace or comfort in going. I do honor their graves and see to the care of their headstones, flowers etc.... but to go there to 'visit' with them -- I don't do that. Other people may find part of their grieving process brings them there, and for them, I think they should be left alone and allowed to grieve in their own way - if a person visits every day for 50 years, it's their grief, their comfort and their choice and they shouldn't be scorned, mocked, scolded or pitied; and no one should try to counsel them otherwise (unless its causing detriment and keeping them from going on with their own life).
    I think of two things here... my grandmother (whom I don't visit at her grave - I visit with her when I'm shopping) BUT IF (Oh heaven forbid) IF it were my husband - they might have to set up a tent for me to sleep in because I don't know that I could leave there without him.

    Answer by ShelbyShareAlot at 5:27 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • I'm not much of a grave-visitor, but I think it totally depends on the person as to whether or not they stop visiting or continue going. Some people find great comfort in it, and it makes them feel closer to their loved ones when they're there. It doesn't really do that for me, and that's okay. Everybody deals with loss differently and my not visiting the graves doesn't mean I care less than someone who does. If it consoles you to visit, then you should continue doing it for as long as you wish, and when it doesn't console you anymore, you should not feel obligated to continue going.

    Answer by vicesix at 5:28 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • I don't go regularly,  but my grandmothers go to my grandfathers graves every week. My grandfathers died 25 and 15 years ago. I used to go a lot with them when I was a teenager, I found it peaceful.  I think if you find peace going you should go.  For some people it only brings more feelings of heartache and going to the grave doesn't really serve a positive purpose.


    Answer by RyansMom001 at 5:41 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • I go to my mom's grave about twice a year, mother's day and her birthday. I did bring my daughters to her grave once they were big enough and the weather was good enough to be outside. I'm going far more often than I ever did before. She died when I was young and my father never wanted to go. But I don't think I'll any more than a few times a year. It still hurts a good deal and I have to work myself up to visit. Everyone grieves differently so maybe one day you will skip a weekend. And maybe you'll skip a month but you'll be ready to do that then but just not now.
    I am sorry for your loss.

    Answer by isabellalecour at 5:45 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

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