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3 Bumps

Affair = more church? adult content

OK, I've got a question that has been getting me for a while.
Seems like just about every time I see a post about someone who caught their husband cheating, there's the statement
'since then we've been attending church regularly'
I don't know about you, but in church I grew up in I can name about 4 cases that I knew of where someone had a affair........with someone else in the church!
In one case it was the minister that got busted!

Seems like if you want to keep someone from cheating, then maybe you should be in a marriage counselors office. Or showing them what a good life they have with you by spending more time together by having romantic dates. I just can't see how taking a cheating man to church is supposed to help him keep it in his pants!

Catch a man cheating so the solution is to take him to church and bore him to pieces when so often men claim they cheated because they were bored?
Sorry, but I don't get it!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:51 PM on Mar. 2, 2011 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • pfffffft! the girl my husband cheated with emotionally, is a holier than thou Jesus freak. she was also married and had 2 kids. some "Christian" this bitch was.

    God was not where we turned when he cheated.

    i do understand why some people turn to their pastors/ministers/so forth in these situations though. it makes sense, from the religious aspect of marriage. just like counseling though, it will only have a positive impact if BOTH partners want it to.
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 5:54 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • I could see turning to things of the spiritual nature would put life and things that are most important into more perspective. Of course, if the person isn't open to change or helping themselves, not even church or counseling will save them from what they want to do, be it good or bad! I would say going to church would be a way to rethink your priorities, and turning to your God would have you say "what would Jesus do" or "what should I be doing" or "this isn't something that God wants me to do".

    CABlonde

    Answer by CABlonde at 5:57 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • My dad told me my mom had an affair with their Sunday School teacher. So cheating is everywhere. I just hope they were not in the church when it happened!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:58 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • Personally, I don't think going to church regularly will fix cheating-but that's just me. If my husband were to cheat, he'd have to do a lot more than go to church, he'd have to go to counseling to work on impulse control, we'd need communication workshops...all that stuff.

    If church works for them, great. But in my family, I think it would take a little more than faith.

    My husband has never cheated and I'm confident he never will.
    metalhealthmom

    Answer by metalhealthmom at 5:58 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • Some "people" are just not meant to be monogomous and some people just get carried away and make a mistake (once). Taking them to church doesn't make them automaticly a Christian (or faithful) any more than putting them in my driveway makes them a car. Marriage takes work, on both sides.
    Kimimale

    Answer by Kimimale at 6:00 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • I think people get scared and try to "hide" from sin in a church. I'm sure it has something to do with "being under God's wings" for protection. (forgot what scripture that came from) Church has always been considered a sanctuary from the outside and its evil ways. I'm guessing that's why they go but then they have to eventually leave and go home, back to the environment that tempted them to begin with. Being a strong family unit sounds like the answer to me but then again I'm not married so I may just be guessing.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:01 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

  • I can see the IDEA behind taking them to church later, but I thought that in most cases when a person has a affair it's because something was missing from the marriage.
    I doubt that a man has a affair because he's looking for religion. I'd always heard that if there's been a affair, you figure out what that void was, and try to fill it.
    whatever it is that a man is looking for that led him to the affair, I can't see him finding it in a church.
    not usually the most stimulating place in the world.
    Anonymous

    Comment by Anonymous (original poster) at 6:04 PM on Mar. 2, 2011

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